Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson

There’s a thousand yous there’s only one of me. 🎶

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown

I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb

I was soft inside, there was somethin' going on

DUM DUM 🥁 🥁

[Ricky P @RicardoPerre1]

Short and sweet... #BBF

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

Last night was litty 🔥

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

@MattJohnson_72 @fathen18020374 That’s tonight paid for 🕺🏻 thanks lass.

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

@CourtneyDredge @RicardoPerre1 🤠

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

@RicardoPerre1

[Bradford Town F.C. @BradfordTownFC]

GOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL! We lead 0-2 at Bitton!! It’s captain Lenihan with the goal!!!🔵⚽️

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

Stay well 🤠

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

If only 🤧

[Greggs @GreggsOfficial]

THE WAIT IS OVER! GET YOUR FESTIVE BAKES NOW!

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

@GreggsOfficial Sorry for my late response publically. I’ve galavanting on my week off! This was a Sunday at midday. Absolute disgrace. Somebody has been engaged since I was last able to get my mits on one! 😤

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

@GreggsOfficial what kind of bakery are you. Popped in to your Plymouth branch and to my dismay there were no slices. In this festive season you have broken a young ex account managers heart. #slicegate #wheresmydiscount

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

@SportsBreakfast @Redknapp @GNev2 @GNev2 @Redknapp 🙃

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

Will they ever understand?🙄 #womenfolk

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

@RicardoPerre1 @leanleni17 He seen nothing I can assure you! Unlike yourself down Hampton by all accounts. Two for One x2 ...Dominoes and Lucy Moosey.

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown

I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb

I was soft inside, there was somethin' going on

DUM DUM 🥁 🥁

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

Nothing gets my goat like this. Do these morons understand the concept of money. Makes me sick. Get back to the days of a hard Brexit upbringing. I was raised on the streets now look at me now a successful accounts manager! @BenMoaning on the other hand.... #proofinthepudding

[Jack Earl @jacknixon98]

£9,000 a year

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

@RicardoPerre1 Good one fella. As you know I don’t have any male relatives. I’ve been carrying the family name on these shoulders for a past time. I do recall going on a “fishing” trip with one of your relatives though 👀

🤷🏼‍♂️💦

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

We’re off to see the Wizard...

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

@DaneEdwards_ Just realised Dane = Mane with a D 😍

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

@4Dee12 if I go later will you young?

[Matthew ‘Boris’ Johnson @boring_johnson]

@DaneEdwards_ Me too Dane. I like what you’ve done there. People who aren’t on our level would miss the importance of the time 👍🏼