Boring Eli Manning

Parody Account

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

My wife told me to stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

Just got a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth. I want to use a toothpick to get it out but the thing is I don't have any toothpicks

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

It's going to be a great Friday night: vacuum, do the dishes, maybe some yoga, and finish with folding the clothes. Oh and cut the toe nails

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

Michael Phelps' girlfriend confesses to being born a male. Phelps yet again testing the waters

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

Just sat down to watch tv only to realize the remote is still on the counter. I really want to watch tv but I really don't want to get up

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

Instead of focusing I've been wondering if all helmets are the same size. If so, Luck must have some issues getting his on that dome piece

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

Put the seat warmers on in the car this morning because it's cold outside. After a while it got too hot so I decided to turn it down a notch

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

@oneputtpistol @TerryTouchdown Does a bear shit in the woods? In more exciting news, just used my new ocean body wash. I smell lovely

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

Just reheated a plate of food for 1 min. Went for a piss then came back to stop it with 1 second left

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

Yea, my brother is a douche.

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

I saw this and thought that I should share it because it made me chuckle. https://t.co/QGDTxNoLL6

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

My wife just asked me if I wanted a sandwich. I said sure. She ask what I wanted on it. I said turkey. She said alright

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

I crack myself up. I see an old pic from London in 07. "English weather," ha. More like "Muslim weather" Partly Sunni but mostly Shi'ite

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

Can't wait to get home, put Coldplay on the speakers, and give the fridge a good clean

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

Cutting my toe nails wondering if I should reheat the ravioli I made earlier for a snack. It's late though so I probably won't

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

Everyone in the locker room keeps saying "about a week ago." I think they are still talking about my touchdown run. This is awesome

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

I was going to clean my cereal bowl this morning because the dishwasher was full but I was able to rearrange a few glasses to make it fit

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

At practice Victor said he had pizza delivered last night. I said "from where?" He said "DiGiorno's." I am still confused

[Boring Eli Manning @boringeli]

Tonight I prank called Peyton and he said "Hello who is this?" I said "Omaha" then hung up. I had to sit down I was laughing so hard