Boring Justin Parker

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

Sorry I haven't tweeted for a while, I have a dog now.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I said to Lyndsey, shall we get married today? She said we already are Justin. I said oh yes, so we are.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I can't believe it's five years ago today since I put my debit card in a chip and pin terminal the wrong way round. Where does time go?

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I can't remember how old I was when I first saw a soft close drawer, but I remember it being a real life changing moment. What a rush.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I sometimes use a tea towel for getting hot things out of the oven, instead of using oven gloves. I'm unconventional, but I get results.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I woke up this morning and said Lyndsey, we're late for work. She said Justin, it is Saturday. It was hilarious.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I wonder how many times I've pressed the space bar on a keyboard. I bet it's a lot because I always leave a space between words.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I asked Sam, would you like a beer ? He said, I don't drink Justin. I said I was only joking. He said good one, Justin.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I just asked Jonesy if he was nervous for Sunday's game. He said No, why ? I said Well, you should be. There's a lot of pressure on you.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I asked Lyndsey if she was looking forward to tonight's England game. She said yes Justin, I am expecting another exciting match.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I've found the end of the sellotape.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I can't find the end of the sellotape.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

For storage purposes, I keep all my plastic bags in one big plastic bag.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

Fish don't have fingers. The popular frozen food item is misleading. Please RT to raise awareness. Thank you.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

Just realised it's 12:48 & I still haven't had a drink of water today. I'm risking a headache if I continue to flirt with dehydration.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

Lovely walk to work this morning, I saw a squirrel in the park, but I didn't see any dog walkers.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

The craziest thing I've ever done is drink milk straight from the bottle. Looking back, I was off the rails.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I've just had an After Eight mint and it's only 6.02pm. What a time to be alive.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I've been asleep but now I'm awake.

[Boring Justin Parker @boringjparker]

I asked Jules about the success of his novel. He said its a business book Justin. I said that sounds like a novel to me. He walked off