tess

erroneously quoting you, probably

[tess @bostess]

@JeromeE65148697 @tobi_leila after sex (2007)

[maybe: clare @clur19]

me at any given point of the day

[tess @bostess]

“if i looked like a dime piece, i’d do it.”

“i look like a beat to shit penny, that reaffirms the country’s decision to do away with production.”

[isla de luca @isladeluca]

this is a graph of me on a night out by # of drinks consumed

[tess @bostess]

when it’s so bad you have to go see the song in person:

[Gillian Anderson @GillianA]

Jean Smart, eat your heart out 👄❤️🔪

[tess @bostess]

trick daddy sandwiched between the most devastating songs you’ve ever heard like the designated survivor of my mental breakdown.

[tess @bostess]

#spotify20 cc: @teganandsara

[lex @bostonlexsox]

what if they proposed with this on the jumbotron at fenway park?

[i am @hotter]

i was gonna find u in every lifetime but nvm

[tess @bostess]

& the job is nothing but death and dying

[ຸ @fvckfemi_]

adulting is about experiencing the worst thing you can imagine & then having to go to work

[𝓓𝓸𝓬_𝔃𝓮𝓮 ✧ @doc_zee7]

“Are you free after work?”

Me after work:

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

Don’t go chasing waterfalls...cautiously approach and be careful of slippery conditions. In fact, you may just want to stick to the rivers and lakes that you’re used to.

[tess @bostess]

WELL, WE are monogamous.

[𝓵𝒆𝒏𝒂₊˚✰ @sachstons]

your aunt and her roommate she’s had for 20 years

[tess @bostess]

mom: i need a boat for my pond incase the fire gets here.

me: *waiting patiently to talk about smoke inhalation*

mom: never mind, that won’t work. a tree might fall on me and i’ll drown.

[tess @bostess]

“this feels so LA i can finally relate to the celebrities that lost their homes!”

[WSB-TV @wsbtv]

Large wildfire in south Georgia is 10% contained; residents warned evacuation may be necessary https://t.co/hDX2a1ocNM

[tess @bostess]

“what is my problem though, why am i losing so much hair that i’m going bald?”

“i think it’s a combo of a lot of things but honestly hair can fall out from stress and you got enough of that for six people…”

[tess @bostess]

“ever since i was a small child i loved a weather report.”

[mellie @uhbucky]

“what kind of bar closes at 11” welcome to boston massachusetts