riverdale quotes bot

tweeting lines from the Riverdale script every hour

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

Not if I put you in one first. Drop the butter knife, bitch.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

Well if you promise to never bring up the epic highs and lows of high school football again, I can ask Tabitha if she’s willing to sponsor the team from Pop’s.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

Serpettes, have either of you seen Jughead? I have a problem that his name scribbled all over it.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

lassy as always, Alice Smith. Just curious. Were you born with that mouth? Or is it something Southside mothers teach their bastard babies?

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

Are you familiar with the works of Truman Capote? I’m Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but this place is strictly In Cold Blood.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

Check your sell-by date, ladies. Faux-lesbian kissing hasn’t been taboo since 1994.

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I don’t eat nougat, I don’t take bribes, and I don’t talk to trade-school flunkies about my feelings.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

I’m Toni Topaz. I was supposed to give you the full animatronic tour, but some robots went insane and started killing the guests, so, we’ll just wing it.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

They’re parents. They’re all crazy.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

I think she's crazier than a serial killer on bath salts.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

You and me, for example. I’m your best guy-friend. Betty is your best girl-friend. Your best friends are dating. But B and V are also best friends, so, your best friend’s girlfriend is also your girlfriend’s best friend. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

I’m sorry to interrupt your adultery, Fred, but you need to come with me.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

Oh, you mean like when you dragged me by my ankles to get a lobotomy?

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

I was supposed to give you the full animatronic tour, but some robots went insane and started killing the guests, so, we’ll just wing it.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

Stranger things have happened, man. Like for instance, my dad shaved. Which is the equivalent of tectonic plates shifting.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

You may be a stock character from a 90s teen movie but I’m not.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

Yeah, Ronnie, your dad sucks.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

Oh! I’m sorry. I’m sorry we don’t spend our time being tragic, and moping, and holding hands while watching serial-killer documentaries. And wearing costumes to role-play to get our rocks off.

[riverdale quotes bot @bot_riverdale]

That’s all. Shoo, bitches.