Boy Kelley

Hideous, deformed, two-headed monster.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

Upcoming Tour Dates:

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

The only time I feel "tired" while running is when they're prying me out from underneath a car.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

Is Andy Capp still making those fries?

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

Financially anxious civilians maintain viability via daily AI familiarization.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

All off a sudden we all need to use AI all of the time to keep our jobs.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

Girls be all about space, but boys be all about enter.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

@kvickart Cool, a completely inaccurate version of the Las Vegas strip.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

Love that professional pickleball decided to keep the same pretentious, unapproachable format as professional tennis.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

The next time someone asks me to consult a robot, I'm going to beat them mercilessly with my human hands.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

My life has been messed up ever since I started opening banana's "the right way"

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

Feels sinister when everyone decides to update their User Agreements at the same time.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

No king in the US, just trafficking. #happypresidentsday

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

Did Disney make the Ducks rich because they were the only ones with bills?

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

Love ordering bullshit menu items like “mojos” or “zingers” or “hodge-podgers”. Really fun stuff.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

@EmbarkBulletin If someone shoots me in the back, their head explodes in real life.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

Mickey’s nose and pupils line up like iron sights when he’s face-to-face with you, revealing the final Hidden Mickey.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

@Steal_your_shit Lose hours of progress?

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

Average shot length for a Michael Bay movie is like 4 seconds, AI clips are 8 seconds, we were set up to fail.

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

@DudespostingWs Fuck these posers

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

How am I supposed to believe you typed out all these em dashes without having that button on your keyboard

[Boy Kelley @boykelley]

Are we not going to talk about how Bath&Body Works “Sunshine & Lemons” smells only like lemons?