H: Tell mom about your idea for a ride at Fair.
5: Ok! So. You're in a container.
Me: Ok.
5: And it's super quiet.
Me: I like it so far.
5: And you get to be alone and read a book.
Me: 😳
H: How many tickets?
5: Zero! ... And you get wine!
Me: Best. Ride. Ever.
Actual transcript of my 7 year old calling me at book club:
Mom! Did you buy an elf on the shelf? Are you sure? Because we have one now but...it's kind of making me worried.
#SnoopDogg#SnoopOnaStoop
"Cattle are just like humans, males are the weaker sex: steers, they need to be coddled and looked after, they require a lot of time and energy. Heifers are the tough ones."
Count on @Nebraskero for the zingers.
"The sign says parking is only for the liquor store. But go ahead and park there, the liquor store is part of the restaurant." - Things they say in Wyoming.
Kids, please be careful of the decisions you make in college.
She went from Huntington Beach, CA to branding strs in nowhere Nebraska. This could be you.
It's hard to live in a small town. Sometimes I think of this couple who only came to town for cigs and whiskey and one day vanished as quickly and quietly as they appeared, and I remember it's entirely possible to be anonymous. They'll never know the comfort of their legacy.
I just really need to know if Oprah knows exactly how many times she was name dropped in LMFAO songs. And, if so, a very detailed description of how LMFAO was subsequently explained to her.