Derek Clements

Marketing Creative

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

@POTUS Unless you live in Florida apparently

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

@domthebomb Blue pill no doubt

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

Elon what the fuck bro

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

@ariyousatisfied It already has 👌

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

@ariyousatisfied God I needed this

[AriZona Iced Tea @DrinkAriZona]

@netflix I skipped my son's baptism for it

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Someone call Lucia the seamstress to fix this. I believe in her

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

Honestly why hasn't everyone watched Dark? It's the one of the few things that Netflix did perfectly

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

Lesson learned, never save payment information to facebook

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

How does my insurance company have the ability to tell me I can't get my meds from retail pharmacies anymore? In what world is that their decision?

And then theygo and hit me with the "Sorry, we're got a high call volume try again later".

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

Houseflipper is the only game that your cats can get in your way both physically and virtually

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

Me: I try to avoid drama in my life

Also me:
- binges Love is Blind
- fights with Trumpers on Facebook for fun
- regularly checks NextDoor for gossip

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

@elonmusk And look how far you've fallen

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

I'm finally in a position in life that I could afford to legally buy Microsoft office, but I still refuse to do it on principle.

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

Car manufacturers take note: I need 4 cupholders minimum. One each for my phone, my current drink, my 2+ week-old water bottle, and miscellaneous pocket contents.

Thank you in advance for your compliance.

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

@elonmusk This feels like a threat

[Eric Frohnhoefer @EricFrohnhoefer]

As Twitter sinks to new lows Parag and Ned were reportedly asked to return but were only given 6mins to decide.

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

RIP

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Breaking News: Aaron Carter, the singer and actor who became a teenage sensation in the early 2000s with hits like “I Want Candy,” has died at 34. https://t.co/5SOokMj6bY

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

Enjoying the spoils of his conquest

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

Caspian enjoying my #stitchfix packages even more than me, a series.

[Derek Clements @br3akswitch]

I guess it's his sweater now