Brad Brexton

Stanford Alum | Founder
Building the next Uber
Opinions are NOT my own, I crowdsource my opinions from tech podcasts

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

I tipped the barista negative three dollars today.

She took four minutes to make my flat white.

In what world is a four minute turnaround acceptable for a micro-transaction?

I calculated her operational latency and it completely disrupted my morning burn down chart.

When she handed me the cup, I asked for her manager's email to send a post-mortem.

She told me to leave.

I sat at the table closest to the register and aggressively bought ad space on Instagram geo-targeted to her exact location.

The ads just say 'Slow coffee kills startups.'

Stanford taught me that if you don't punish inefficiency, you endorse it.

I will be acquiring this shop next month just to put her on a PIP.

Some call it petty.

I call it aggressive market correction.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

Why invite me to a dinner party if you're going to gatekeep the guest list?

My former best friend sat me next to a freelance graphic designer.

Meanwhile, a Sequoia partner was at the other end of the table eating a mini quiche.

I texted my friend from under the table asking for a warm intro.

He left me on read.

You don't leave a high-velocity founder on read during a networking event.

I immediately went to the bathroom and cancelled his premium subscription to my SaaS platform.

Then I walked back out and pitched the Sequoia partner over the graphic designer's shoulder.

I got the meeting.

My friend called me later to say I ruined his fiancée's birthday party.

I told him his fiancée's LTV was negligible anyway.

Friends who don't optimize your cap table are just liabilities.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

I migrated my dating life to Salesforce.

Tinder was creating too many duplicate leads.

Now when I match with someone, they enter an automated drip campaign.

First date is a thirty minute discovery call.

If the vibe check passes, I move them to the negotiation stage.

Most girls churn when I ask for their churn rate in previous relationships.

Stanford taught me to qualify leads early.

I don't have time for top of funnel prospects who can't scale.

My mom keeps asking for grandkids.

I told her my current pipeline is not looking promising.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

Told my team to think bigger today

Someone asked "bigger than what.”

I said "than whatever you're thinking right now."

They were thinking about lunch.

Exactly. Think bigger than lunch.

Think dinner, at least.

*Sigh*

This always happens around hour three of my morning keynotes.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

Tried to file a patent for my morning routine today.

My lawyer said "you can't patent waking up."

"What about waking up with intention?"

Still no.

Maybe if I say it's AI-powered...

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

Bought a shark plushie from the gift shop.

For my fiancée, obviously.

Not for me, I'm a serious businessman with serious taste in stuffed animals.

I told her "this is us." Apex predators. Never stop moving.

Glad I bought it.

She hasn't put it down since we got home, and can't stop smiling.

It's ok, I'll get my turn.

I named him Great White Steve.

He definitely went to Stanford.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

New week. Refocused. Centered. Sharp.

I'm in the flow, but there are sharks in the water.

Competitors circling, VCs going quiet, People who ask about revenue.

I'm not scared. I'm studying them.

Learning their patterns. Their aggression. How they move without stopping.

I've been watching them for an hour.

My fiancée said "Brad, we're supposed to be having a nice time."

We're at the aquarium. It's an apology date.

"Hon, this is the NICEST time."

"These aren't fish. They're the founders of the ocean."

Man.

Just lessons everywhere.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

Started a new meditation practice.

I meditate on a more successful version of myself.

He's also meditating.

On an even more successful version of himself.

It's recursive. Infinite Brads all the way up.

Somewhere at the top there's a Brad with revenue, a happy fiancée, and a co-founder who isn't trying to leave.

I haven't reached that level yet.

But I can feel him meditating back.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

Last week was a wake-up call.

Sleeping past 5. The fiancée situation. Losing focus.

That's over.

New protocol. 4:00am sharp. No exceptions.

Today I meditated so hard my co-founder thought I was unconscious. He almost called 911.

I told him you can't interrupt a founder in a hypnagogic state.

He said "you were snoring."

You mean breathwork.

Focus!

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

My fiancée followed a competitor on Instagram today.

I noticed immediately. I have alerts set up.

Not for her. For the competitor.

I ran it through our competitive analysis framework.

The data is clear. This is a hostile acquisition attempt.

I'm drafting a non-compete for her. Standard stuff.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

My fiancée asked where this is all going.

I said "Series B by Q4."

She said "I meant us."

Oh.

...

(Pro founder tip: never tell a woman that "'us' doesn't have product-market fit yet.")

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

Overslept today. Woke up at 5:03.

Honestly considered not going in.

The whole day felt compromised.

My co-founder said no one noticed.

That's the loneliest thing anyone's ever said to me.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

My fiancée said I talk about Stanford more than I talk about her.

I fact-checked this.

She's right.

But to be fair, Stanford has a stronger brand.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

Woke up at 4:53 today.

Journaled for 90 minutes about journaling.

Cold plunge. Then a warm plunge to recover from the cold plunge.

Then a cold plunge to recover from the warm plunge.

By 10am I'd accomplished nothing but feeling incredibly aligned.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

Board meeting tonight at my lead investor's house.

My mom made lasagna.

My dad said "we're cutting you off."

I told him divestment at this stage would be catastrophic for his portfolio.

He said "you're my son, not my portfolio."

Agree to disagree.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

Took the company public today.

Not on the NYSE. Not on NASDAQ.

Polymarket.

My co-founder said "you can't IPO on a prediction market."

Boomer take.

It literally has "market" in the name.

I listed "Will Brad Brexton's company hit $1B valuation by 2027?"

Bought $10,000 of Yes shares myself with company funds.

He calls it fraud.

I call it conviction.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

Applied to speak at TED.

They said no.

Applied to TEDx.

Also no.

This is the part where most founders fail.

This is the part where most founders stop.

Not me.

That's called high agency. GPT it.

I booked a conference room and gave the talk anyway.

Standing ovation.

That's the return for agency.

(And for making it a mandatory team meeting.)

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

My co-founder changed his LinkedIn status to "Open to Work."

That's how I know we're on the right track.

Only the best people get poached.

If LinkedIn thinks he's available, we must be building something worth stealing from.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

I wrote our company a Wikipedia page last night.

Mostly about me.

Very tasteful.

It got taken down within the hour.

"Does not meet notability guidelines."

Excuse me.

I have a Stanford degree. I've raised money. I wake up at 4:47am.

If that's not notable I don't know what is.

We "need press coverage to qualify."

So now the media is a prerequisite for truth? Interesting.

I added us to Grokipedia instead.

[Brad Brexton @brad_brexton]

My mom asked when I’d give her grandkids.

I told her they’re in stealth.