the return of S.A.D. dad

a mnmlst - he/him

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

Just watched a cop drive the wrong way up my one way street and turn the wrong way onto a second one way street but sure, they can probably be trusted with guns.

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

I have only 2 left chances to see @murderbydeath live: today vs tomorrow. I pray I am lucky enough to add a set list to my wall. And if I'm not that lucky, I hope I'm at least lucky enough to hear Spring Break 1899 just one more time.

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

I had a dream last night that there was a full scale extraterrestrial invasion and we still had to go to work the next day

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

I'm gonna revolutionize the hip hop game by producing a track that sounds amazing when you play it on a shitty little phone speaker on public transportation

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

We should stop calling them Giraffes and start calling them Throat Goats

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

@heyspringsteen @kyleshanenaft I habitually block basically every advertiser on IG, so it doesn't know what the hell I want. I've been keeping a folder of insane targeted ads I've been served over the years

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

While listening to @kyleshanenaft I keep getting served ads for mental health services and yacht rock concerts at Indian casinos, so that algorithm is DIALED IN on me

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

Ah cool, so it's gonna be AT LEAST 4 more years of rapidly spiraling political violence. Will 2025 be the year I have to become an ardently pro-gun leftist? Thank you, SCOTUS

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

Cheesecake Factory is food for people that want to eat at the gas station but think their credit score is too high

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

Romeo and Juliet but they shit themselves when they die

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

Gandalf use magic even one fucking time challenge (Impossible)

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

@AfBanStan @Uncommonsince76 @John_Kass @mirandadevine Why don't you just say the racist stuff you wanna say instead of being a coward about it?

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

Adult fans of Coraline think they're so much better than adult fans of The Nightmare Before Christmas just because they know how to read

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

After today's episode of @of_rude, there's no way "Can we kiss at the horse rave in hell?" doesn't become in instant best seller in their merch store

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

They should make Nerds candy larger so you can bite into it like an apple

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

@binarybits @crzwdjk Are you listening to how silly, complicated, and expensive these proposed solutions are? Build trains and busses and prioritize their travel over private vehicles. That's it.

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

Or you could just talk to your artist because they're a professional and you're already paying them for exactly this

[BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed]

I didn't think I wanted a tattoo of a whale in the cosmos, but after seeing the design, I'm honestly thinking about it. https://t.co/WHptR4LNgx

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

Huge shout out to @KwikTrip for always having egg rolls available for breakfast for some reason

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

I don't think dude has to be a gendered term. I think it can just refer to anyone that looks like they'd try to get a second day out of a pair of underwear

[the return of S.A.D. dad @brain739]

Gunslinger with big dreams: "This town ain't big enough for the one of me"

[Haus of Decline @hausofdecline]

Animals by how honoured I would feel getting eaten by them

Lion- honourable
Big Snake - dishonorable
Crows - honourable
Vultures - dishonorable
Crabs - depends on the crab