bran huess

after the apocalypse there will be cockroaches, twinkies, and Brandi Huesser.

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS I MET EDGE. I AM FUCKING SOBBING. THIS HAS BEEN MY DREAM SINCE I WAS 7. Thanks @EdgeRatedR for being the nicest guy in the planet! Sorry I snuck in the ab touch.

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

@hammerito Someone let him have sex with them?

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

Since tomorrows my last day at the ballpark here’s a video from the 2022 nlds win I could never post

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

Forgot to post April and May.

Wild dark shore is the best read of 2026 (so far)

Dry April. Added 7 wines in May. 🍷

Learned the hard way I have to wait til done breastfeeding for serious miles. 😬

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

2026 goals so far:
• read 60 books
• drink 100 wines
• run 200 miles

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

March. Added 7 wines. 10 miles.

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

This is probably an unpopular opinion but once you are off my team I could not give a fuck less about any story that comes out about you.

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

I told him I wouldn’t bet on that man to sneeze into a tissue when he had a cold

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

My dad told me to bet on Alec Bohm.

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

How can we get word out to all international travelers for the World Cup that pat’s and geno’s simply aint it?

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

Good morning from Judd who is already a toddler at 9 months

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

Restaurants don’t pay staff enough and it’s not “your problem” - correct. But when people say that all I hear is “I know you’re struggling and I’m gonna take up your time but I’m knowingly not going to tip you”

Bruh, just order take out. No tip necessary

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

God bless servers and bartenders always but particularly now where I see people proudly boasting online that they don’t tip!?
Then they double down and say they know bartenders/servers don’t get paid enough but it’s not their problem!!

I would’ve been fighting customers

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

@chizzy_getsbusy Certainly the best in years

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

Just when I thought they couldn’t top their 2023 schedule release😂

[Tennessee Titans @Titans]

You never know who you'll see on the street @Shift4

NFL Schedule Release Show 5/14 on @nflnetwork at 7PM CT

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

Remarkably bright creatures was my favorite read of 2025 and I just watched the movie and it does the book right. Sobbed through both. Just delightful 10/10

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

Getting to see Elmo like THE ELMO in person was not on my 2026 bingo card but it just happened. My heart is going to explode ❤️

[Phil Huesser @thehuess]

I’m trying to get @Bran_John99 to watch Dredd with Karl Urban but she heard it’s bad. Who will come to aid?

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

I ain’t bookmarking tweets, but I am observing and will remember

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

I think I am a pretty understanding, empathetic and nonjudgmental person but just know if you want AJ Brown off the eagles I think you’re a certified dumbass.

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

At least when this wretched series is over I will be able to smile cuz the flyers made it to round two and I can go to bed at 830p every night again.

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

Jesus H

[bran huess @Bran_John99]

The Phillies lost 12-1 for this by the way, flyers