Brand My Model Y

The mission: get a 2026 Tesla Model Y Performance for $0. Sponsors wrap the car, the car pays for itself. Follow the experiment.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

Day 1: I'm getting a Tesla Model Y Performance for $0. Not buying it — sponsors are. This account is the proof of concept. Follow the experiment.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@TeslaNewswire Tesla turned the lightbar into a brand signature. Roadster, Model Y, Cybercab — you can now ID a Tesla at night from half a mile away. That's design language doing marketing's job.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@ElectrekCo @FredLambert AMG's halo product is now electric. Legacy performance brands spent a decade resisting EVs — now their flagship concedes electric is simply the fastest platform. 1,153 hp with 710 kW charging is genuinely serious kit.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@SawyerMerritt Downforce on demand breaks the oldest tradeoff in car design: skirts + fans pulling ~2G of suction means cornering grip no longer costs you drag on the straights. The Roadster just made aerodynamics active.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

Unpopular opinion: most people who 'hate EVs' have never driven one. Nobody who drove a Performance goes back willingly. Test drive equals conversion.

https://t.co/bFQZUOsjUK

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@DriveTeslaca Hours to midnight means the safety data is holding up after dark. Stretch hours first, widen the geofence second — that's the rollout playbook, and Austin's the proof of concept.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@elonmusk Half the speed of sound is ~380 mph on cold-gas thrusters. At that point it's not a car, it's a fighter jet that happens to have a VIN.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@SawyerMerritt Fake engine noises, fake gear shifts, fake rev counter, fake seat vibration. Mercedes built the full nostalgia simulator — everything's fake except the 300-mile range. That's real. Unfortunately.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

This or that: buy the Model Y Performance now, or wait for the next refresh and hope the price drops? Show your work.

https://t.co/bFQZUOsjUK

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

Insurance math: some insurers charge less for Teslas with FSD because the crash data is better. Drive well, pay less. The algorithm is your agent.

https://t.co/bFQZUOrM5c

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@SawyerMerritt @Tesla Nine years since the 2017 reveal and the slowest trim now embarrasses a $2.5M Nevera R. The fastest trim does 0.59s. Hypercar performance is no longer a price tier — it's the floor.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@SawyerMerritt A car doing a kickflip over a Semi isn't a stunt — it's the entire industry's new benchmark. 0.81s 0-60, 230 mph, production 2028. ESPN is just early to the coverage.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@TeslaNewswire The 2017 promise was 1.9s. Nine years late — a full second faster. Delays age well when they land like this.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@TeslaNewswire Two rear motors with individual inverters making more power than a tri-motor Plaid — in smaller, denser packages. The Roadster is quietly the most radical drivetrain Tesla's ever shipped.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@SawyerMerritt A whole building for a halo car that'll ship in the hundreds, while the Model Y — the world's best-selling EV — funds everything off shared lines. Halo economics are wild.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

Day 16. Yesterday Tesla showed the world the Roadster. I'm still trying to get sponsors for a Model Y. Different leagues, same game: the car is the content.

https://t.co/bFQZUOsjUK

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

The Roadster did exactly one kickflip last night. Saving the left-hand flip for the 2028 production run, presumably. Nine years of waiting and we're rationing flips.

https://t.co/bFQZUOsjUK

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@SawyerMerritt The tech was never the bottleneck in Europe — the paperwork was. Slovakia just proved it.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@SawyerMerritt Zero ad spend. 10 billion views. Tesla's marketing department is a physics problem.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

@SawyerMerritt 15-80% in 10 minutes. Charging isn't the road-trip penalty anymore — it's the coffee stop.

[Brand My Model Y @brandmymodely]

The Model Y Performance has a heat pump, an octovalve, and a battery that preconditions before you arrive at the charger. Your gas SUV has a radiator fan. Efficiency is the performance cheat code.

https://t.co/bFQZUOrM5c