Brandon Consigli

Marblehood till I die

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

Waiting for ESPN to drop queen elizabeths career stats

[Josiah Johnson @KingJosiah54]

Mac Jones: “Can I throw some passes?”

Belichick:

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

You buy drinks from kids lemonade stands, I ask then for permits and confiscate their profits. We’re not the same

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

Yo fuck the CDC, the SEC has way more national titles

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

Break gender norms, steal her sweatshirts

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

Kesha predicted tik tok and no one listened

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

Tequila Mockingbird

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

This lives rent free in my head at all times
https://t.co/qYCrOyF2oJ

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

Any guys out there had that test where they feel your nuts and tell you to cough or do I need a new dentist

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

When i die donate my body to spirit halloween, theyll know what to do

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

I got way too much confidence for a guy with only 19 career retweets

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

How you gonna be making plays with a gluten allergy? You cant get bread anyways.....

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

Mask off is about to hit #1 on the charts again post quarantine

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

@FiftyShadesofJ But jameis wouldve gotten picked off

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

I judge how cool people are based on their windsheild wiper speed. If its barely raining and you got them going at full tilt youre a tweaker, but if its a down pour and you got those bitches set on 1, youre an absolute baller

[Cousin Stizz @CousinStizz]

@TomBrady

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

@30SecFights when someone puts other plate in the sink when ur just about to finish washing them

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

@NewCuIture Firing off “you up” texts at 1am

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

Twinkle twinkle little star and the alphabet song have the same melody

[Brandon Consigli @brandonconsigli]

If you were my left airpod where would you be?