Brandon Martin

every tweet is a miracle | mostly outdated music and football takes | wanna know the rest – hey – buy the rights.

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@hamachi_crudo I think I have one

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@PiusLimited @emzanotti

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@savage_acro Yes

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@BethesdaRow @SoundMoneyG Damascus was an incorporated town at the turn of the 20th century, but unincorporated to take advantage of state road funding.

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@hamachi_crudo Seeing a lady so pretty your eyeballs jut out a little bit?

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

It bothers me they’re a thing

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

Savannah Bananas/Fascist Venn diagram is a circle I will not be taking questions 9 guys in all yellow are dancing towards me right now very aggressively but also kinda funny in a late aughts way

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@hamachi_crudo Sadly, he retired.

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@hamachi_crudo I had a neurologist like that. He was the first person to diagnose my “migraines” as cluster headaches (after seeking help for them for almost a decade). He also told me I should get hair plugs, and that he only took adderall when he was being called as an expert witness.

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@BethesdaRow

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@SeanFennessey You must explain why this must be

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@therealvalueof @brianstelter You = dingus

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@jselingo Also where would you even split it? Genuinely curious. I live here, btw.

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@jselingo Land don’t vote buddy.

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

This guy is just straight up evil.

[GQ Magazine @GQMagazine]

At 50, the unruly, unpredictable Modest Mouse singer is confronting his own mortality on his best album in two decades, and doing what he can to settle down. https://t.co/D3tbIGtDIC

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@Srirachachau AI’s fatal flaw is “fingers.” The claws are a dead giveaway.

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

Elected president 😒🤦‍♂️🫡

[Washingtonian Problems @WashProbs]

Hey DC, what's something that feels like a DC rite of passage that you've somehow never done?

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@sa_lamoureux @JennyPooh1039 @Yoda4ever Yeah dogs aren’t people.

[Brandon Martin @brandonmartin]

@BenjaminCrew1 🤮