Brandon O’Hara

The guy that your Mammy warned you about

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@TailorAndBarber Look who it is: John “ Popsicle” Palmetto!! My favorite News Anchor!! WJFK New Hampshire

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@msnetik My girlfriend uses protein tampons. She claims “every little bit helps” and I say she smells like a buffalo carcass that time of the month

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@okimstillhungry My cousin is a casting agent and told me they are very interested in Ryan Dunkleman or John “Taffy” Timson

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@phonybone My girlfriend left and I threw all of her stuff out. Turns out she just ran to Fudruckers for a burger. Had to wrestle her belongings back from the junkies in my neighborhood

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@roywoodjr Haggis, what’s my mother fucking name?

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@Rainmaker1973 Little tin soldier, happy tin soldier

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@DOGE__news Kid Rock looks like a guy from my childhood that lived above a garage, didn’t have a job and made his own fireworks and painkillers

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@StephenKing My dog “Gazpacho” is an old boy but greets me like this every day. I reward him with a fresh donkey bone when he behaves

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@DudespostingWs When I was a kid, I accidentally got on a different flight from my family and ended up in New York. I had a Talkboy recorder, recorded my voice and slowed it down to sound like an adult so I could make a reservation at The Plaza Hotel. So I definitely get what Charlie is saying

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@richard_normal I entered my Golden Retriever “Gazpacho” and I in my company’s talent show and we had a choreographed dance routine to “All About That Bass.” Midway through, a feral cat attacked me and clawed my sideburns off and my beloved Gazpacho ran into a drainage pipe. I hate that song

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@InternetH0F My dad has a similar wall like that in his office but with beef jerky

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

Got written up at work because my boss caught me eating my lunch doggy style

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@gunsnrosesgirl3 My uncle holds the record for spaying 35 cats and four dogs in 14 minutes

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@sznrazzz

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

My uncle lives in a patch of woods near my house. I spend most of my day trying to avoid him around town because I know he’s going to ask me for a ride and I have a very strict “I don’t give rides to people with bleeding face scabs” rule

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@benlikessport I was born in the 80’s and my name is “JR Dallas”

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

Just got kicked out of a freestyle battle because I said “I’m like a snickerdoodle, you’re just a liquor poodle.”

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@thecroakerqueen Danker McMillan from the movie “Not on my watch 2”

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@FunMovieTVFan Martina McButler from Law And Order: Norway

[Brandon O’Hara @brandonoshow]

@exe_files_ He was a great entertainer and always made me hungry for rotisserie chicken with that golden brown delicious skin