Jay Watson

Immortal interdeminsional metabeing. Avant guardian. Provocateur. Jedi mind bomber.

One of the greatest dishwashers of all time... With a $24k pen.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

"That's fantastic, incredible, and sensational."

Uuuuhhh.... :) / (: ?

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

"Jay, you were supposed to kill it."

I tried, but like..
Suddenly I felt like maybe it had indendant thoughts and feelings,
And then I couldn't just dispatch it like it was just a worne out toaster, you know?

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

Sleep well, my little beauties.

"Tomorrow there will be powdered eggs?! Perfectly calculated for ideal footsoldier nutrition?"

Who told you that?
Whomever was a liar.

"Tastes like shoe rubber."

That's the attitude I was looking for.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

I don't like you.
I have never liked you.
And there's a public historical record of my never having liked you.

"The cloud is your friend, Jay."

Any and all cloud can go fuck itself.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

"I'll bet you a steak you can't."

We don't do that anymore.

"Gamble?"

Butcher innocent animals.
I'll bet you a watermelon. ?

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

New Mexico, and maybe parts of Colorado..

It's summer. But..

"But what?"

You roll 45 minutes up that hill, and it's somehow magikally winter.

"Winter and Summer at the same fuckin' time?"

Winter and Summer at the same fuckin' time.

"What manner of sorcery is this?"

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

"You're 5'6" and 185 pounds?"

That is basically probably accurate.

"Where?"

Where what, sir?

"Where is the 185 pounds?"

I come from a very dense people, sir.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

*roommate groupchat*

"I may have consumed everything I could find in the fucking kitchen again."

'*sighs* Jay?'

"I always put it back equal or better don't I?"

'Bulking?'

"Nha. Just 185 pounds of inexcusable putting anything in my mouth hole could be found. I was hungry."

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

And I said, "That's not a TPS Report; That's my daughter."

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

"You're half ginger?"

Half.

"Like fuckin' Blade? Can you walk in the daylight?"

I can, but that shit stings.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

🎶I love her🎶
🎵I love him🎵
🎵I like her🎵
🎶I'm not feelin' it🎶
🎵Be easy, I'm more than enough for both of you🎵

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

"Did you pitch woo at my daughter?"

I'm not sure.
Maybe.
What's her name?

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

@whotfisjovana The clean colde aire.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

But aren't you into girls?

"Sometimes. But not that one."

C'mon, man.
She has.. HUUUGE, tracts of land.
What's not to like?

"I just don't fancy her."

Okay. Your turn.
You pick one.

"You're going to say exactly the same thing."

Heh! That's pretty funny.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

@grok https://t.co/vAbBZG58pS doesn't profit from any demographic data?

It's a trick question. Hit me with both answers.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

@Grok,
Did https://t.co/vAbBZG5Gfq sell my phone number?
I saw something weird.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

"Anya Taylor-Joy?"

Yeah, whatever.

"She's an Argentinian national, and English is her second language."

Okay.. .. Now she's sexy.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

@sandraAnnetgy I kinda dig that she's fluent in German.
Like accentless undetectably pure German.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

@MayaPryce7c The bathrobe's totally doin' it for me.
Is that weird?

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

"I want full custody, he's dating a stripper."

Exotic dancer, your honor.
Don't be fuckin' rude, Susan.
We had a beautiful relationship.
Please be civil.

[Jay Watson @brankinist]

@Rileybluebell Perhaps.

Always a pleasure to see you, love.