Kelly Braswell

[пояснительная бригада @axrbarsic]

🐟 РЫБА, КОТОРАЯ ПОСЛАЛА ЭВОЛЮЦИЮ НАХУЙ

Есть животные, глядя на которых понимаешь: природа творила вдохновенно. Орёл. Тигр. Дельфин.

А потом у неё, видимо, случилась пятница.

И появился красногубый морской нетопырь.

Эта ебанина живёт у дна и вместо нормального рыбьего поведения предпочитает ходить. Да, блядь. Рыба посмотрела на концепцию плавания и решила: «Спасибо, нахуй не надо».

Её плавники превратились в подобие конечностей, которыми она упирается в грунт и ковыляет по морскому дну с выражением лица человека, которого в четыре утра выгнали из бара.

Но главный шедевр тут, конечно, губы.

Красные. Мясистые. Демонстративные.

Будто эта тварь залезла в Instagram, увидела рекламу косметолога «Губки мечты всего за $1999» и сказала: «Ебашь весь шприц».

Причём наука пока не знает наверняка, зачем ей такая роскошь. Возможно, для распознавания сородичей или брачных сигналов. А возможно, природа просто решила доказать, что чувство юмора у неё всё-таки есть.

Самое прекрасное, что это ещё и родственник удильщиков. У рыбы имеется специальная структура для приманивания добычи. То есть она не просто ходит по дну с губами районной светской львицы, она ещё и охотник.

И никакой адской бездны для встречи с этим чудом не требуется. Красногубые нетопыри встречаются примерно от нескольких метров до сотни с небольшим. Можно, значит, спокойно нырять, любоваться морем, кораллами, рыбками, а потом из темноты к тебе пешком выходит ВОТ ЭТО.

Отдельно прекрасна фраза из вирусного поста про «400 миллионов лет эволюции». Конечно, эволюция не сидела 400 миллионов лет над чертежом этой конкретной рыбы:

«Так, плавать будет хуёво. Ходить будет смешно. Теперь губы. Нет, Петрович, ЕЩЁ БОЛЬШЕ».

Но результат именно такое впечатление и производит.

Природа создала акул, способных чувствовать электрические поля. Создала китов массой под 150 тонн. Создала осьминога с тремя сердцами.

А потом посмотрела на остатки запчастей и сказала:

«Хуй с ним. Собираем».

И получилась рыба, которая ходит по дну с лицом женщины, которой только что заблокировали OnlyFans.

Наука, сука. Она прекрасна.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I spent the entire night writing and posting stories about the noble people who fought quietly for America, for their families, and for the people they valued more than their own lives.

They fought with the same selfless courage as the young soldiers in World War II who climbed into cramped torpedoes and launched suicide attacks against the American military.

And yet, on that same timeline, Mamdani is laughing. Many people are willing to vote for him. The number of Muslims continues to grow.

America, stand up!!!!!!!!
Do not lose, America!!!!!!!!!
Do not be deceived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before worrying about the rest of the world, cure the cancer inside your own country. Treat the cancer cells that have metastasized to the brain.

Of course, I do not want the children of Gaza to keep being killed. That tragedy must end immediately.

But that does not mean you should hand New York over to your enemies, trample on and insult your ancestors—or rather, not some distant ancestors, but your parents, siblings, lovers, families, and loved ones—and throw away all your pride. That must stop immediately.

Before worrying about the rights of Muslims, protect your family first.

Before rainbow LGBT ideology, protect the people who love one another and raise children together.

Everything has a priority.
You cannot have everything.

Protect your family.
Protect your community.
Protect your country.

Before you become an incompetent, defeated loser who forces his beloved wife to cover herself in a black veil, watches his daughter be attacked by Muslims, and then foolishly prostrates himself five times a day, please wake up.

Please, wake up, citizens of New York!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hillbilly @JamesHu27192912]

HAPPENED AT A TENNESSEE FOOTBALL GAME---NOT A JOKE.

CHRISTIANITY IS NOW THE TARGET OF PERSECUTION...
GOD BLESS EVERYONE WHO READS THIS...

I FIND IT INTERESTING THAT A HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL CAN SEE THE PROBLEM, BUT OUR SOCIETY CANNOT.

TENNESSEE H.S. FOOTBALL

THIS IS A STATEMENT THAT WAS READ OVER THE PA SYSTEM AT THE FOOTBALL GAME AT ROANE COUNTY HIGH SCHOOL, KINGSTON, TENNESSEE, BY SCHOOL PRINCIPAL, JODY MCLEOD:

"IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE CUSTOM AT ROANE COUNTY HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAMES, TO SAY A PRAYER AND PLAY THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, TO HONOR GOD AND COUNTRY.

"DUE TO A RECENT COMPLAINT, AND RULING BY THE COURT, I AM TOLD THAT SAYING A PRAYER IS "A VIOLATION OF FEDERAL CASE LAW".

AS I UNDERSTAND THE LAW AT THIS TIME, I CAN USE THIS PUBLIC FACILITY TO APPROVE OF SEXUAL PERVERSION AND CALL IT "AN ALTERNATE LIFE STYLE", AND, IF SOMEONE IS OFFENDED, THAT'S OK.

I CAN USE IT TO CONDONE SEXUAL PROMISCUITY, BY DISPENSING CONDOMS AND CALLING IT, "SAFE SEX." IF SOMEONE IS OFFENDED, THAT'S OK.

I CAN EVEN USE THIS PUBLIC FACILITY TO PRESENT THE MERITS OF KILLING AN UNBORN BABY AS A "VIABLE MEANS OF BIRTH CONTROL." IF SOMEONE IS OFFENDED, NO PROBLEM...

I CAN DESIGNATE A SCHOOL DAY AS "EARTH DAY" AND INVOLVE STUDENTS IN ACTIVITIES TO WORSHIP RELIGIOUSLY AND PRAISE THE "GODDESS MOTHER EARTH", AND CALL IT "ECOLOGY.."

I CAN USE LITERATURE, VIDEOS AND PRESENTATIONS IN THE CLASSROOM THAT DEPICTS PEOPLE WITH STRONG TRADITIONAL CHRISTIAN CONVICTIONS AS
"SIMPLE MINDED" AND "IGNORANT" AND CALL IT "ENLIGHTENMENT."

HOWEVER, IF ANYONE USES THIS FACILITY TO HONOR GOD AND TO ASK HIM TO BLESS THIS EVENT WITH SAFETY AND GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP, THEN FEDERAL CASE LAW IS VIOLATED.

THIS APPEARS TO BE INCONSISTENT AT BEST, AND AT WORST, DIABOLICAL. APPARENTLY, WE ARE TO BE TOLERANT OF EVERYTHING AND ANYONE, EXCEPT GOD AND HIS COMMANDMENTS. NEVERTHELESS, AS A SCHOOL PRINCIPAL, I FREQUENTLY ASK STAFF AND STUDENTS TO ABIDE BY RULES WITH WHICH THEY DO NOT NECESSARILY AGREE. FOR ME TO DO OTHERWISE WOULD BE INCONSISTENT AT BEST, AND AT WORST, HYPOCRITICAL. I SUFFER FROM THAT AFFLICTION ENOUGH UNINTENTIONALLY, AND I CERTAINLY DO NOT NEED TO ADD AN INTENTIONAL TRANSGRESSION.

FOR THIS REASON, I SHALL "RENDER UNTO CAESAR THAT WHICH IS CAESAR'S," AND REFRAIN FROM PRAYING AT THIS TIME...

"HOWEVER, IF YOU FEEL INSPIRED TO HONOR, PRAISE AND THANK GOD AND ASK HIM, IN THE NAME OF JESUS, TO BLESS THIS EVENT, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO... AS FAR AS I KNOW, THAT'S NOT AGAINST THE LAW--YET!"

SILENCE FELL.
ONE BY ONE, THE PEOPLE IN THE STANDS BOWED THEIR HEADS, HELD HANDS WITH ONE ANOTHER AND BEGAN TO PRAY.

THEY PRAYED IN THE STANDS. THEY PRAYED IN THE TEAM HUDDLES. THEY PRAYED AT THE CONCESSION STAND, AND THEY PRAYED IN THE ANNOUNCER'S BOX!

(THE ONLY PLACE THEY DIDN'T PRAY WAS IN THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - THE "SEAT OF JUSTICE", THAT'S IN THE "ONE NATION, UNDER GOD.")

SOMEHOW, KINGSTON, TENNESSEE, REMEMBERED WHAT SO MANY HAVE NOW FORGOTTEN.
WE ARE GIVEN THE FREEDOM OF RELIGION, NOT THE FREEDOM FROM RELIGION!!

PRAISE GOD THAT HIS REMNANT REMAINS!

JESUS SAID, "IF YOU ARE ASHAMED OF ME BEFORE MEN, THEN I WILL BE ASHAMED OF YOU BEFORE MY FATHER.."

IF YOU ARE NOT ASHAMED, PASS THIS ON!

I'M NOT ONE BIT ASHAMED TO PASS THIS ON, ARE YOU?

THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS! GOD BLESS EVERYONE WHO READS THIS AND PASSES IT ON!

[Ron Wright @ronsterd89]

I don't Ever want to go into a nursing home, but if worse comes to worse and I have no other choice because I'm well out of it, 😁 then this will be my wishes, to be upheld and respected. 😁😁

If I ever get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.

1. Every time you enter the room announce yourself. “Hi- it’s ………...” NEVER ask- Do you know who I am??? That causes anxiety.

2. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality. 🌸 Careers included.

3. If I think my dead friend is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.❤️

4. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.👍🏽❤️👍🏽

5. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

6. If I get dementia and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.❤️🥰❤️🥰

7. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.

8. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am. ❤️

9. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends. ❤️

10. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.

11. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me. ❤️

12. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated. ❤️

13. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.❤️

14. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.👍🏽

15. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.👍🏽

16. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.❤️

17. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.👍🏽

18. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.❤️❤️❤️

19. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.👍🏽

20. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.❤️

21. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs and plenty of laughing ❤️🥰❤️

22. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”🌼❤️

In honor of someone you know or knew who has dementia. In Honor of all those I know and love and lost who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s.

Someone once said if you take care of someone with dementia, you lose them more and more every day. When they get the diagnosis, when they go through different stages, when they need treatment, and when they pass away.

This is called "the longest goodbye ". As the brain slowly dies, they change physically and eventually forget who their loved ones are. They could end up lying in bed, not moving and not eating or drinking.

There will be people who will scroll past this post because
dementia has not touched them. They may not know what it's like to have a loved one who has battled or is still battling dementia.

To raise awareness of this cruel disease, I would like my friends to put this on their page today.

Hold your finger on the post to copy and paste to your timeline.

A special thank you to anyone willing to put this on their timeline for Dementia Awareness Week.
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[Crazy Moments @Crazymoments01]

"Their owner passed away alone in his apartment. Nobody found him for three days. The dogs waited the whole time." When animal control finally arrived, Max and Buddy were sitting by the front door. Not destructive. Not panicked. Just sitting. Waiting. Doing what he had always taught them to do. They came to our shelter with nothing. No records. No vet history. No family contact. Just each other. And one old tennis ball that somebody thought to grab on the way out. That was eleven days ago. Every morning they sit at the kennel door and wait. Every time they hear footsteps they both stand up. Every time those footsteps pass — they go back and lie down together. They don't know he's not coming. They just know he always came back before. Max is 6. Buddy is 5. Both healthy. Both gentle. Both heartbreakingly good dogs. Neither one will do well separated. They have never spent a night apart. They were somebody's whole world. Now they need somebody to be theirs. If you are in the USA and you have room in your home and your heart — please share this until it reaches the right person. They've already waited long enough. Drop a ❤️ for Max and Buddy. And please — SHARE. One share could be everything.

[Gabriele Corno @Gabriele_Corno]

Shelter security tootage from kennel 7, captured at 3:47 AM. His name is Teddy.
He's 8 weeks old. He was found in a cardboard box on the side of the highway with his siblings - he was the only one who survived.
When he arrived at the shelter, he wouldn't stop crying for his mother. A volunteer gave him an old donated teddy bear. He hasn't let go of it since.
Every night, the camera catches him doing the same thing - checking she's still there, nuzzling into her chest, licking her face. He thinks the bear is his mother.
Nobody has the heart to tell him otherwise.
If Teddy moved you, please share him.
Somewhere out there is the family he's bern waiting for…

[Rodney Smith Jr @iamrodneysmith]

Dear @WhiteHouse, my name is Rodney Smith Jr., founder of Raising Men & Women Lawn Care Service in Huntsville, Alabama. Through our 50 Yard Challenge, over 6,000 kids across the country have signed up to mow free lawns for the elderly, disabled, veterans, active-duty military, first responders, and single parents. With America celebrating its 250th birthday this year and me also being born on July 4th, I wanted to humbly ask if a few kids from our program and myself could travel to Washington, D.C. to help mow the White House lawn for this historic celebration.

More than anything, I want these kids to see how a simple act of service something as ordinary as mowing a lawn for someone in need can lead to extraordinary places. What better lesson in community service than showing them that helping others can take them all the way to our nation’s capital? I’d also love to bring my American flag-themed mower in hopes that the President might sign it, so I can later auction it off and donate 100% of the proceeds to a nonprofit supporting veterans. It would be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to highlight the importance of service, patriotism, and the impact young people can have when they choose to make a difference. 🇺🇸

[Champagne Joshi @JoshWalkos]

This guy is calling a hospital on behalf of a new mom who was charged $1,847,392 because her baby was premature and needed to stay alive long enough to come home.

The itemized charges are dystopian. $37,464 for heel sticks on a premature infant, $58 every time a mother held her own baby skin-to-skin in the NICU, $312 for discharge teaching on how to sponge bathe a preemie and $27,590 for phototherapy lights. That’s before even getting into the NICU bed charges.

Our medical system is one of the most corrupt, exploitative and evil rackets in the world.

[Vince Langman @LangmanVince]

"Don't run like a fairy" 😂

That's exactly what my father would have said!

[Kentucky Girl @Kentuckygirl1]

This. Is. Terrifying.

This technology should NEVER be allowed to be used.

Ford can fvck right off and so can the Congress members who voted to put this tech in vehicles starting in 2027.

[ThePersistence @ScottPresler]

If you live in Texas, I would like to hear from you.

I’m already booking flights & preparing to travel to Texas

should Senate Majority Leader Thune not pass the SAVE America Act w/in 12 days.

Let’s create the biggest Senate runoff turnout Texas has ever seen.

🗓️ May 26

[Mayra Flores @MayraFlores4TX]

I wish Americans loved America as much as Texans love Texas.

[Texas 🇺🇸 @MustangMan_TX]

You’re gonna love this!!! 👏👏👏

This country songwriter/singer wrote a low-key fire song about his ex and her new boyfriend who is super mad! 🔥🔥🔥
And now they are threatening him!

What should he do?

[Steve 🇺🇸 @SteveLovesAmmo]

Good morning ☀️

[Happy Motorhead @HappyMotorhead]

Dont you hate it when people say this...?

[Rancher Dustin 𓃒 @DustinMeyerTX]

Hey @elonmusk we seriously need a Texas flag emoji 🙏🏻
Repost this, Texas! 🤠

[TheTexasOne @TexasRepublic71]

This Veteran Owned Coffee shop Porky’s in Humble, Tx needs our support to make it!

Veteran Brew Coffee Co 5131 Atascocita Road Unit 1, Humble, TX 77346, USA
You know what to do! 🇺🇸

[Jack Osbourne @JackOsbourne]

Introducing Ozzy Matilda Osbourne

[AmericanPapaBear™ @AmericaPapaBear]

There is a state that could survive as a country on it's own.

Can you guess which one it is?