BJ Pureza

A starseed.

[positivity moon @arrtnem]

On paper it is gorgeous. Two toothbrushes in one cup. Tiny socks on the radiator. Someone whose face you know in the dark reaching for you at 3:12 and not leaving. A small person with your eyes and their laugh eating cereal too slowly before school. It sounds like the closest thing to safety we have ever invented.

But a lot of people did not grow up watching love look like that. They grew up watching marriage be a war that never declared itself out loud. 19:40 on a Tuesday, plates not quite slammed, voices just quiet enough for the neighbors not to hear. A father sleeping on the couch for three years. A mother doing the emotional admin for five people and getting a wilted bouquet once a year as a receipt. The child learns quickly that forever can be a threat as easily as it is a promise.

You say mini mes. A lot of people hear smaller witnesses. Witnesses to debt. To screaming in the car park. To one parent disappearing for six months and calling it adjusting. Some bodies carry the memory of being the kid who held the camera and took the Christmas photo where nobody spoke to each other for two days after. They do not crave that house. They crave never putting anyone through it.

There is another layer no one likes talking about because it sounds too practical for a sacred topic. Mortgage rates that bite. Groceries that feel like a test. Friends burning out in two jobs and still wondering if they can afford a dentist, не те що дитину. Bodies that already wake tired. The idea of bringing in a small, breakable person is not just cute to them. It is a spreadsheet with red numbers and a nervous system that shakes.

And then there are the ones who were never told they were allowed to want something for themselves first. To them, choosing no partner and no kids for now is not selfishness. It is the first act of self parenting. It is finally learning to feed the part of them that was always the one doing the caretaking. They are not missing the desire. Sometimes they are surgically removing the compulsion put in them by a culture that treated women as wombs and men as wallets.

Some people hear spouse and feel warmth. Others hear spouse and feel a hand closing over their life. Some people look at a child and feel their chest widen. Others look at their own sleep schedule, their own untreated trauma, their own rage in traffic and think not yet, not like this. That is not nihilism. That is responsibility. The bravest thing some people will ever do is break the chain by not adding another link.

Marriage and children can be the most beautiful thing. They can also be the most efficient way to hide from yourself. It is easy to call it forever if you have never sat with your own loneliness without a witness. It is easy to say mini me if you have not yet met the parts of you that should not be replicated without serious editing. Many people want to arrive to that altar and that nursery with less unprocessed violence in their hands. That takes time. That looks from the outside like drifting.

If you are lucky enough to want it and still be soft when you picture it, hold that gently. Do not turn your hunger into a ruler you hit others with. The world has given plenty of reasons to be afraid of binding contracts and tiny hearts. Climate, war, courts, childhood bedrooms where love was conditional on performance. Not everyone has healed enough to gamble a child on their hope.

Ask people what they want under all the noise. Some will say a partner and kids. Some will say a room, a dog, three good friends and work that feels honest. Some will say I do not know yet, I was never given space to ask. The distance is not as far as it looks. Everyone is hunting the same thing under different packaging. A place where their nervous system can stop scanning the door. A hand that stays. A tomorrow that is not a threat.

You can stand in your dream of spouse and children without needing the whole planet to agree.

[Jai Cabajar @jaicabajar]

Politicians should really build thicker skin on social media. Hindi yung napipikon sa simpleng tanong ng nagbibigay ng sweldo mo.

[Raffy Lerma @raffylerma]

These trigger happy acts by the Philippine National Police are not new. A culture of violence and impunity exists within the institution. This shoot-first-ask-questions-later attitude was particularly evident during the past administration’s war against drugs and criminality.

[Raffy Lerma @raffylerma]

Overseas Filipino Worker, Rhoda Baltazar, grieves for her 17-year-old son, Jemboy, through a video call from Qatar during the wake at Barangay NBBS, Navotas City on Aug.7, 2023.

Police shot and killed Jemboy on August 2, 2023 thinking he was a murder suspect.

[Regina Rosenfeld @ReginaRosenfeld]

— Ada Limón 🛩️

[Naomi Wu 机械妖姬 @RealSexyCyborg]

方晓彤 🕯️ 刘继禧
THEY WERE NOT "FRIENDS". SHE DIED TRYING TO SAVE HER. DO NOT ERASE THEM.

[Alyansa Tigil Mina #IpamanaHuwagIpamina @atm_philippines]

URGENT ALERT: two were hurt after Sibuyanon defenders try to block mining trucks in entering the private port.

three trucks with nickel ores passed through the barricade today, February 3, 2023

#SaveSibuyan
#NoToMiningInSibuyanIsland

[ADHD Jesse @adhdjesse]

I really need to take action on this email, so it’s important I keep it unread and sitting in my inbox for the next 3, 6, or 12 months so I feel guilt and shame every time I see it which is 20 times a day.

[Rayel @jerichorayel]

Hindi tayo friends at nagtatrabaho ako tapos sasampalin mo ako ng cake? Putangina ka ba?

[bo’ha @heyboha_]

kaka-healing my inner child ko wala na akong savings

[BJ Pureza @brenpureza]

@micahhhhhhhhv Game

[BJ Pureza @brenpureza]

@micahhhhhhhhv Also us hahahaha

[BJ Pureza @brenpureza]

@micahhhhhhhhv Congrats sis

[BJ Pureza @brenpureza]

@micahhhhhhhhv Oo ganito

[BJ Pureza @brenpureza]

A rainy hike at Mt. Manabu! Just when we thought the fog is all we'd get, God said, "I don't think so." Thank you! 🙏🏻

[BJ Pureza @brenpureza]

@micahhhhhhhhv Di ko na mahanap sis hahahaha hanapin ko muna

[BJ Pureza @brenpureza]

I went inside fullybooked to buy a pencil, I went out with a book. But *freaks out* I'm so glad I bought this!!

[mayka 🍉 @maykamaykaba]

Looking for a gift that you want to give to your loved ones this Christmas? You can check https://t.co/zyYh7hqPt9 for handicrafts by the Lumad, for the Lumad.

100% of proceeds go directly to displaced Lumad communities. :)

#StandWithTheLumad
#ReopenLumadSchools

[️kuzo 🍋 @kuzokusunoki]

literally all of us starting next week now that Drag Race Philippines is finally over: https://t.co/D6uhHfE5dT

[cami ☀︎ @gottquaria]

Me without drag race ph next week https://t.co/kcER16q7I6

[miles bonsignore @milesbon]

how is everyone liking Game Of Thrones: House of Negroni Sbagliato With A Little Bit Of Prosecco Innit?