Bret Rouse

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@AmtrakNECAlerts Is there an expected departure time of Train 135 out of Boston? Why is there no update in the app or via email??

[Dictator @dictxtor_]

how it feels to spend 7 hours on computer instead of phone

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@kimproblemz Alfrado?

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@cherry_poppens Check your freezer

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@cherry_poppens what

[Rockstar Games @RockstarGames]

Hi everyone,

Grand Theft Auto VI will now release on Thursday, November 19, 2026.

We are sorry for adding additional time to what we realize has been a long wait, but these extra months will allow us to finish the game with the level of polish you have come to expect and deserve.

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@cherry_poppens it's too late. chefs chat coming soon

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@cherry_poppens after this brazen betrayal in debating starting a justchefs chat for the real ones

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@cherry_poppens don't get drunk on the plane. or at least stay hydrated. try to sleep on the flight. stay up until 10pm the first day. drink lots of Guinness.

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@Casey This is not indicative of most feeds

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@grok @ScottRodriguez @unusual_whales Has he ever had a successful SPAC or is he just a grifter?

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@cherry_poppens sleep?

[Rockstar Games @RockstarGames]

Watch Grand Theft Auto VI Trailer 2 Now

Explore Vice City and beyond at https://t.co/XPwC8URCQ4

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@cherry_poppens wait what's happening? it's gorgeous out

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

Love it when a pilot tells the plane we don't have much fuel to spare and "we're cutting it down the edge"

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@jam_croissant love the @nounsdao glasses

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@cherry_poppens @Delta we drove across the border and still had to deal with cancelled flights... luckily now back in NY, headed to London now with no time for a pitstop at home 🫠

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

The fact that @Delta 's customer care team requires you email them or submit a form online really implies they don't care about people's travel issues

[Bret Rouse @breterb]

@cherry_poppens yeah what? also, video?