️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

♡ read content warnings before proceeding. https://t.co/ODNoSgg2oo

[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

you do have a lot going on. i’m sorry for that.

i’m free tonight, & i know you aren’t——is there anything i can take off your hands? you know i run through paperwork fast.

i know you have it under control. i just want to make sure you have some time to breathe, too.

⠀

[ً @youthvowed]

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an added workload due to the time i’ve had to take off for personal duties on top of everything i already must do, for starters. expenses are adding up, which means more work, which means no time.

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

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( @youthvowed. )

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

( they nod in acknowledgement, easing up once it seems the misunderstanding has simmered. )

i’m sorry you have a lot on your plate. what’s been going on?

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[ً @youthvowed]

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( she shakes her head. )

it’s not you. there’s just so much going on and it’s hard for me to stay on top of everything and look after my personal responsibilities on top of that.

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

@youthvowed

[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

( their heart twists itself into a heavy knot. part of their mind begins to trail away at the thought of taking care of her again. )

no worries. i really am. please tell me, am i making it worse? you’ve had a long day as is.

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[ً @youthvowed]

⠀

( two fingers rest at her temple, a slow exhale leaving her lips. )

i’m just really tired.

( guilt gnaws at her through the haze. )

i’m sorry. i know you’re just trying to help. it’s just complicated.

⠀

[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

( immediately, their gaze flits to the floor, casting her momentary privacy as their arms fold behind their back nervously. )

apologies.

( after adjusting, they glance back up at her, a little softer. )

do you want to talk about it?

⠀

[ً @youthvowed]

⠀

( she’s withdrawn under the impression that they aren’t supportive of her, that stubbornness she has always carried tuning itself into defensiveness. it makes that 𝒍ook they always have in their eye when they glance at her … )

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

( they’re unconfident of any notion to continue that wouldn’t further upset her, given mostly to the belief they are, at least in part, the cause. instead, they just nod to acknowledge her frustration indiscriminately, hoping it’s taken as a wordless cue to continue. )

⠀

[ً @youthvowed]

⠀

frustrated.

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

right, okay. apologies.

can i ask how you’re feeling?

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[ً @youthvowed]

⠀

i have work to do.

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

we can drop it. do you still want to see each other later?

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[ً @youthvowed]

⠀

i have everything i need. i have stability. what i ‘ settle ’ for is more than enough.

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

i think everything you do is lovely. i just think you deserve better than what you settle for.

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[ً @youthvowed]

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all you do is judge me ﹗

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

i care about you. that’s all it is.

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[ً @youthvowed]

⠀

the conversation that you bring up every time despite how obvious it is i don’t want, or need, to hear it ﹖ far too many times.

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

i think you know why. how many times have we had this conversation?

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[ً @youthvowed]

⠀

why are you acting like this ﹖

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

( completely monotone. )

i support you. i know you can’t help it etc, etc.

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[ً @youthvowed]

⠀

bent out of shape cause i wanna text someone important to me something funny 😒

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

( mumbling, brooding, etc. )

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[ً @youthvowed]

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ok attitude

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

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i’m sure he’d love the attention

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[ً @youthvowed]

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i should text him & say that he reminds me of a dog with chronic shaking disorder

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

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you talk about him like he’s a dog with a chronic shaking disorder. 😭

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[ً @youthvowed]

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he’s just gonna bug it again 😭 he gets nervous

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

let’s run up our credit cards together🫶

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[ً @youthvowed]

⠀

i can’t afford to get another one right now 🥲

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[️️ ️️𝓼urvivor 、 @briarcrown]

⠀

let’s just smash it😁

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[ً @youthvowed]

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that laptop is NOT getting jailbroken 💀

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[soli @solisolsoli]

Allegory of Virtuous Love, c. 1620, by Jean Ducamps