you deserve slow love. uncomplicated. no rush. sure. stable. consistent. you deserve that love. you deserve someone that's sure of you, that you're sure of.
im getting tired of reaching out to people but i also understand people are busy. it's an annoying feeling, feeling annoyed over this even though i understand. but im just so tired.
there's a very specific type of melancholy reserved for knowing you can only virtually catch up with someone but being videocall-exhausted at the same time.
i miss you. bone-deep and shaking.
i feel myself constantly wanting to vomit. i feel myself shaking, misspelling words because of the bad trembling my thumbs can't find where to land. i am so exhausted.
despite my anger, a part of me mourns, and no one told me about this sadness. the grief feels like a death but only for someone you thought you knew really well.
my anger so intense it grew 8 feet tall, grew fangs, gained claws, devoured me in one bite, didn't even chew. now i am inside this anger, suffocating, shaking, confused.
i wish for you a love that's proud of you. one who talks about you sweetly even when you aren't there. one that would choose you over and over, one you'd choose over and over.
i wish that love for you.