Bri

I’m not trash, I’m the whole dumpster

[Bri @brimac106]

@GameGrumps I’ll be there!!

[Bri @brimac106]

@TrooperBenKHP Why do my friends not understand how important it is to buckle up?!

[Tom Felton @TomFelton]

How does a butcher introduce his wife ? “Meet Patty”

[sad memes @ed_memes]

i am:

⚪️ gay

⚪️ straight

⚪️ pan

⚪️ bi

⚪️ asexual

🔘 unable to keep a conversation going because i constantly feel as if the person i’m talking to finds me annoying and wants me to shut the fuck up

[mambajuice @sleepy_wasted]

Why the FUCK are LED headlights legal? i’m glad you see can into the future with your bright ass neon blue lights but i’m about to fly off the road, carol

[Octo 🐙📼 @Octopimp]

Me, driving away from my house: did I lock the front door? I think I did.
Anxiety: yeah but DID you?
Me: I...I think so...
Anxiety: yeah....but DID you?
Me, u-turning in a controlled intersection: THANKS, ANXIETY, YOU'RE ALWAYS LOOKIN' OUT FOR ME

[bpd armand truther (vik) @yuuripaws]

me: spends money
money: is spent
me:

[Cartoon MacDonald @WizardMacDonald]

Her: are you into anything... dangerous?

Me: sometimes I get calls from numbers I don’t know

Her, breathless: yes?

Me: and then I... answer them

Her, under her breath: this man is wild

[Dylan Park-Pettiford @dyllyp]

I wasn’t ready to laugh this hard

[Oli Herrera @oliherreraTV]

The most Midwest sentence you could think of:

“Ope, just gonna SNEAK right past ya and grab the ranch.”

[Maxx Danziger @MaxxSIO]

me, at a club: do you take requests?

DJ: yeah what’s up

me: *slides over $10* please turn it down

[pw @petewentz]

Alright, question of the day, is there a difference between water from the kitchen vs. the bathroom?

[relatable @byreIatable]

Accurate

[Bri @brimac106]

@Haynes180 Hey, I would haha