Ryan Brister🌹

I tweet about soccer @ThroughBalls, and I help with a radio show about work: @PunchingOutWAYO

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

I could probably fix this, but fixing things seems at odds with the general vibe of Twitter dot com right now.

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

A particularly stupid detail of my current consumption of this site is that I used adblock on that Doge icon a couple months ago and haven't been able to see the like or retweet buttons since.

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

@aklingus "I once read a major magazine article" is such a wild line, even by his standards.

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

Guy who takes off his shoes at the airport way before they ask him to

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

@chap42chap Simple: You should be able to adopt grandkids

[John Burn-Murdoch @jburnmurdoch]

NEW: 85 people in Arizona suffered severe burns from contact with pavements heated up to 180F (82C). 7 of them died. In total, 257 people had underlying cause of death listed as "exposure to excessive natural heat".

This is not a forecast for 50 years time, it’s happening today.

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

Those really are big lemons! Thank you, Magic

[Earvin Magic Johnson @MagicJohnson]

Positano, Italy is so beautiful and they grow the biggest lemons I’ve ever seen in my life!

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

@aklingus I, for one, enjoy imagining this.

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

Update: I saw the Wes Anderson movie and it really was my kind of thing.

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

My boss saw the Wes Anderson movie, almost walked out because he hated it, but asked me about it today because he "thought it might be your kind of thing."

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

A fantastic ad, thank you for this

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

A perfect strike. Impeccable accuracy.

[James Austin Johnson @JAJCenter]

Fireworks Illegal In Pasadena

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

I have spent a month on the front lines, experiencing first-hand the effects of what some are calling "bio-terrorism" (girlfriend started a new job at an elementary school)

[Barry Petchesky @barry]

Ya-ha-ha, you found me

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

My first time encountering a celebrity in NYC

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

I would like to thank the City of New York for calling me in on this issue. My time at the re-education facility helped me see how my past comments were not only wrong, but hurtful. Today I can proudly say: I love Big Bagel

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

Currently detained at the border to NYC. DeBlasio's jackboots are demanding I remove my "disparaging posts" about bagels, but I will not be bullied into abandoning my principles

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

@elderrumbao 👀

[Ryan Brister🌹 @Bristerical]

Being a teenager means thinking Licensed to Ill is the best Beastie Boys album
Being in your 20s means recognizing Paul's Boutique as the best Beastie Boys album
Being in your 30s means that Check Your Head