davanzo🦊

a fox living in the human world🪐 wonky mind

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

After being awake for an hour and 10 minutes, I have decided that it is time for a nap. I’ll try this whole “start your day” thing again around noon.

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

If you add fireball to your latte and it tastes better, it was a terrible latte

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

Describe something scarier than a snow day in Arkansas, driving with a Benz logo in your rearview, Texas tags…

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

@scabbydabbydoo Sorry to break the news, but you can’t go to a coffee shop anywhere without there being an insufferable girl

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

Yearly reminder that we don’t need to see your dead deer pictures on instagram, especially if it’s not a trophy

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

I make so much fun of people that purchase pre-peeled garlic cloves until I’m prepping massive amounts of garlic; only then do I wonder why I’m not one of those people

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

I serve this one guy every Thursday, and he always puts “cash” on the tip line put has never actually left me cash…
Next week Imma put “modelo” on a piece of paper and give it to him, but not actually give him a modelo

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

Never thought I’d see a man wearing Rock Revival jeans and an Affliction shirt driving a Tesla, but I guess his douchebag outfit has to match his whip

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

@earth2rylie Oh how I love the cropped bangs on you😍

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

When Sawyer pulls the “ladies first card”, I hate that I can’t clap back with “age before beauty”, as that would make me age, and him beauty😡

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

Tell me why I thought it was “cute” to put a maze of cacti on my front porch

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

My baby brother evolves into a Doctor Davanzo today, and I could be more proud🥺😇🖤

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

@Sawdawg6 Vetoed

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

Ryleighs doesn’t allowing smoking anymore, and I don’t even smoke and am mad about it😢

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

Why does Shogun have literally THE BEST view of any restaurant in Fayetteville??? Feel like I come here just to sit at the bar and stare at the mountains

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

My favorite neighbor is currently the one with the electric lawnmower down the street…no Saturday morning “I’m burning gasoline”, no Saturday midday “I’m tending to my lawn”, no Saturday evening “don’t worry, its trimmed”; just silence

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

Just tried to be young again and make friends with a girl on dickson…couldn’t do it, still love her, but could not hang. I’m officially old

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

@hbkat_ at the baseball game, as the whole field calls the hogs; “sorry, I’m not patriotic”🤣🤣

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

I hope they had a good night lol

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

Bathroom stall at Ryleighs, and hear two girls next stall, one saying she forgot deodorant and they may have to leave if she gets BO…I had to be a good female and pass my purse mini over the stall, had a whole convo about organic deodorant, and left without face interaction

[davanzo🦊 @britdavanzo]

Stoned and eating a single slice of cheese, wbu?