britt🍷

I'm realistic, not pessimistic.

[britt🍷 @britlmn]

Inspired by the wise words of @LilTunechi , I will now "hop up in my spaceship and leave earth motherfucker, I'm gone."

[britt🍷 @britlmn]

it’s not just a dress. It’s art. Custom art. And the artist wasn’t asked permission before she wore it. If you have any respect at all for the arts, you’d understand why it’s problematic.

[britt🍷 @britlmn]

how is Margaret Orr so hot

[britt🍷 @britlmn]

Trying to navigate the pitfalls of adulthood and post-brain surgery life like:

[britt🍷 @britlmn]

why are butterfly peas so trendy rn

[britt🍷 @britlmn]

Yeah sex is cool, but have you ever blown your nose for the first time after transnasal surgery?

[Duffy 🌈 @MelissatheDuffy]

I hate that teeth require so much specific care, the rest of my bones are so low maintenance

[mar 🫶🏼 @itsmariannnna]

“i prefer sativas” is a fun way of saying you don’t have an anxiety disorder

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

Did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory? There was nothing left but debris.

[britt🍷 @britlmn]

My guinea pig doesn’t like it when I wear turtlenecks because she can’t press her face up against my neck skin.

[britt🍷 @britlmn]

Why. Do. Pheromones. Exist. For. The. Sole. Purpose. Of. Making. You. A. Dumb. Bitch.

[britt🍷 @britlmn]

Yesterday my grandma turned 74 and look how happy she is

[em ᰔᩚ @ghstfIeurs]

imagine u r living inside a tiny mushroom house... with a tiny chimney.... deep in the woods.... no one knows u exist.... u make soup in a tiny pot......u are free

[angie @teaxtarot]

I WILL say “first of all” without there even being a second of all

[anastasia ♡ @demiegodly]

ricky martin in 1999:

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

The NFL is nuts to be playing football.