Bert

my parents live in Indiana, but I live on the edge

[Bert @britney_hoffman]

Why does every college girl nowadays travel Europe in the summer, have a 6 pack, and is sponsored by some swimsuit company where they’re giving everyone 20% off codes MEANWHILE I’m over here busy being broke looking like a loaf of moldy bread

[Nick Jonas @nickjonas]

I’ve been to the year 3000 not much has changed, except everyone was wearing a mask.

[gary from teen mom @garyfromteenmom]

nobody:
me in the uber at 3:36 am: so do u like driving

[Harrison Weinreb @harriweinreb]

I have no covid-19 symptoms, which from what I hear, is a symptom of covid-19

[Miley Cyrus @MileyCyrus]

Meet Miley Cyrus..... again. #SheIsComing #ButForRealThisTime 🎸🖤🎤

[HanSue Gloger @hansuewilson]

Run in fields !
Dance in the rain !
Laugh it off !
Things will get better !
Life goes on !

[emily! @evujko]

it grows back, amiright ladies?

[Bert @britney_hoffman]

Mama raised him right

[Ｎ 💗 Ｕ Ｒ 𝒷𝒷𝓎 @itssnourbby]

I gave a little kid some frozen yogurt today at work, and his mom says “okay, what do you say?” And he looks me dead in the eyes and says “I love you” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Michala @Michalawhite_]

Ok not gonna lie - sometimes I wonder if I’m really gonna be single for the rest of my life

Like I’m ok being single forever but who’s gonna kill the spider

Not me

[Shania Twain 💎💎💎 @ShaniaTwain]

Let's go girls send tweet

[Bert @britney_hoffman]

@mrmischke I’ve also heard that it’s a sign of anxiety and stress. Thanks for the positive reassurance 😂

[Bert @britney_hoffman]

Do you have a reoccurring dream about all of your teeth falling out or are you normal?

[Bert @britney_hoffman]

@alyssablom The most sense she’s ever made

[Bert @britney_hoffman]

The best songs always come on right as I’m pulling back into the work parking lot after lunch break :/

[˗ˏˋ ryn ˎˊ˗ @onlineryn]

nick miller simultaneously sets the bar so incredibly high and yet so unbelievably low for men... the power that character holds ...

[Bert @britney_hoffman]

@katmilez110 😢😢😢😢 we are babies. Miss u honey bunny

[Bert @britney_hoffman]

HAPPY BDAY KATHYYYY praising da lawd today for givin me a friend like you who’s always down to be goofy n crazy, love u mucho💞💞💞💞🤪#mayhassanbewithyou

[eye @ANIM3TITTIES]

do u cry on ur birthday every year or r u normal

[Bert @britney_hoffman]

This???? After a long day on the boat and in the sun?? I’ve never seen anything more appetizing