Britt Woodard

Hobbies include: watching television, smashing the patriarchy, and fighting cancer.

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

I honestly just don't understand people who aren't obsessed with @celinedion .

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

Anyone who even mentions any type of football to me today while the #PK80 is on can no longer be my friend. #collegehoopsfordays

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

Sometimes in this life I find that I am a weeble who can't help but wobble. But I will be damned if I let myself fall down.

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

Unusually perky people should literally not be allowed to work in any major medical office. I just don't have the energy for them

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

Hot Take: Smart TVs are dumb.

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

Good morning friends and welcome to the first day of #CollegeHoops. #bestdayoftheyear

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

Thank God for @CatfishMTV marathons on cold, rainy days when you really just need to recharge.

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

I'm sorry but if you don't dress up for The Price is Right you don't deserve to win the car. Show some respect.

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

There is a study linking cancer with moderate drinking. This may be true. But you know what else can you cancer, the radiation they're treating my tumors with. So dear healthy friends if you so choose drink up. Enjoy your life.

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

But in all seriousness Cosmetology isn't easy with a healing head wound and my mom deserves an award for her efforts. ♥️♥️♥️

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

My mom halfway through trimming up my hair: "Maybe I should put my glasses on for this..."

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

My mom's dachshund just tried to kidnap my stuffed donkey and use it as a chew toy. No more tummy rubs for her. #justiceforScooter

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

When a commercial for your cancer treatment comes on and they get to the side effects portion

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

I think a part of my soul is missing because my biggest pet peeve is when people talk to pets like babies, or any aged human really

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

I have put myself on bed rest today. Any text are appreciated but may not receive responses. Consider this tweet like an Out of Office.

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

@BuzzFeedQuiz : "Yell us all this useless information so we can tell you something both irrelevant and untrue about you."

Me: "Sure thing!"

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

Does anyone else ever feel like the southern Bridget Jones of cancer? We all know I'm not asking for a friend.

[Metro Entertainment @Metro_Ents]

Meet @BarryKeoghan - the Irish lad ready to fight for 'two Oscars in five years' https://t.co/8ZfBqjPqSu

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

Dark cancer humor has been mom blocked once more. Being the guy from operation is not considered "appropriate" for a neighborhood setting.

[Britt Woodard @brittallywoo]

Me at 4PM: I can't wait to sleep tonight

My insomnia at 4 AM: You must read every review of the David S. Pumpkin's special immediately