Brittaney Meyer

Mom of three. Wife of one. Educator of many.

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

My son to his aunt after his third round of trick or treating during the Halloween circuit—hands her a can of whipped cream, “Can you spray this in my mouth please?” 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

My husband almost watched the Jack Ryan pilot without me today. Then he remembered he didn’t feel like getting divorced.

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

The girls are back at home after a week at summer camp. I have learned that I deeply miss them being in our house but that I am also totally capable of surviving without people arguing over HUGE issues—like who swims on the left side of the pool too often.

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Ella asked if she had enough PTO accrued to cover her chores while at camp this week. Always thinking, that one. 😊

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Henry: [holding a chalky ball] Mom, can I take a bath? I just really want to relax in the tub with this bath bomb.

I don’t know where this kid came from, but I’m so glad he’s here.

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Getting an early start as we head out on a 2.5 week road trip to see beautiful parks and some of our favorite people. Oldest currently bawling eyes out because the pre-10am wake-up is ruining her summer and we ALWAYS do this to her. I get it, we’re the worst.

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Learned that my minivan has a storage compartment I never knew about! Unrelated, figured out why my car has smelled like rotten food for a week and half. #parenting

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Last night my son went behind the bar at his uncles’ wedding and started asking people what they wanted just before turning to the bar tender and saying, “I got it. You can go.” This kid. #parenting #sorrysir

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Asked my husband if he agreed that my new sneakers really tied together my athleisure look. He looked at me like I was speaking Greek. I took it to mean, “absolutely.” We really get each other. #MarriedLife

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Used to make up songs to help Henry potty train. He still loves it. As a result, I just belted out a song about poop to the tune of “Good Night Lady,” from my seat at the dinner table while Henry yelled, “It’s working! AGAIN!” from the bathroom. #parenting #wheresmygrammy

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Today Henry touched a raspberry on his 90 year-old, great grandma’s plate. The berry was set aside. He picked it up and ate it while telling his sister, “If you want something that’s on someone else’s plate, just touch it, and they’ll give it to you!” #facepalm #sorryaboutthat

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Remember that time Ella made it through 2017 with no poison oak?2018 will not be a repeat year for that success. Do you also remember that one time, in 2018, when she was covered in poison oak, leaned on me, and I ended up with it on my face? That was fun. #Kids #deepbreaths

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Young people have helped lead all our great movements. How inspiring to see it again in so many smart, fearless students standing up for their right to be safe; marching and organizing to remake the world as it should be. We've been waiting for you. And we've got your backs.

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Just reset my iPhone X Face ID for Ella’s face. It unlocked for Madison’s too. So cool. #twins

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Currently overcast and cool out our back door. My daughter says she is going to wear shorts... because her phone says it is sunny. I. Have. No. Words.

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Me: What are you most proud of from 2017, girls?
Ella: I made it the whole year without getting poison oak!
#harderthanitsounds #wishicouldsaythesame

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Just played laser tag with 8 preteens. Took high score every round. #goals

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Parked in “my row,” at Target. Was the last spot, totally blocked from view, and next to a large van with a sliding door and no windows. I reparked in a well lit area. This is why conversations matter. Because it was probably fine, but I couldn’t risk it. #metoo

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

Tonight, the woman who, at age 7, wrote down that her worst subject was, “speling,” served as the Bee Master for a district spelling bee. #neversaynever #hadtoskipafew

[Brittaney Meyer @brittaneymeyer]

As an adult, I now realize how messed up the premise of The Parent Trap is. But, since I also have twins, I get it.