Brittney Betcha Rising

Co-host @AlignmentDark podcast, energy reader, pole dancer, yoga, reiki, runner, singer, writer, eclectic witch, mental health advocate & true crime junkie

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

I was mistaken for Anne Hathaway tonight at a gas station Taco Bell in Central Arkansas. I have peaked.

#peaked #AnneHathaway #celebrity #Arkansas #tacobell #doppelganger #lookalike #princessdiaries

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

My 1.5 year old just watched an old video of N*SYNC performing on TRL. She pointed at Justin Timberlake and said “mama.”

Yes, baby. Yes.

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

My boyfriend/baby daddy is a mix between Hank Hill and Clint Eastwood.

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

What’s the most Libra moon thing you’ve done today?

Thanks for asking.

I remembered someone I met once 5 years ago entirely by their outfit.

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

Nothing is more blindly optimistic than my boyfriend’s alarm.

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

The worst thing you can say to an overwhelmed mother asking for some help is “calm down.”

Bro, I will CUT you.

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

For whatever reason, every adult in the waiting room at the doctor’s office smells like stale cigarettes. It’s a vibe.

Can we please see the pediatrician now?

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

My feelings are like John Wayne Gacy’s crawl space… I’ve run out of places to bury them.

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

There isn’t a table emoji. I can’t get over the injustice.

#rantcorner #whoisresponsible #somebodyfixit

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

@NatStatePests Brown recluse spiders

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

My mom named a fish after herself.

That’s it. That’s the tweet.

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

Some people dream about lavish weddings. I dream about lavish funerals.

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

I’m only an organ donor because it prevents immediate cremation. You know, in case I die under suspicious circumstances. I want an autopsy to catch my murderer… so I can haunt them forever.

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

Why do I only enjoy terrible movies? If the plot is good, I’m not interested. Quality acting? Hard pass.

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

Subway really needs to rebrand.

The logo is atrocious and cheap looking. The $5 footlong days are over.

#suggestion #unsolicitedopinion #subway

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

@hausoftasia ☠️☠️☠️

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

When you’re 9 months pregnant and a lady has the audacity to ask “are you keeping your baby?”

I wanted to say “I’m donating her to science” …but I just blankly stared at her.

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

Pregnancy: a time of life where your body repeatedly betrays you in new ways every 20ish days for a solid 9 months.

#37weeks #pregnancy #pregnantgirlproblems

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

@AngryBearsFDM @Jimmypisfunny @WhismanSucks @MurderSmall @CrimeInSports 😂☠️😂☠️😂

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

Dogs: **barking at nothing**
Me: Hey! No! You’re making life terrible!

#dogmom #Dachshunds #doglife

[Brittney Betcha Rising @brittney_betcha]

I’m Pro-Choice & Pro-Cheese.