Barney Stinson

I’m Awesome

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

http://t.co/OL1lnK1k

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

Forget every other rule I've ever stated because every other rule I've ever stated is old and I have only one rule: New is always better.

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

A riddle to start this Easter Sunday. What lightweight outfit pink or white Makes the front of my slacks abnormally tight?

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

@soccerdotcom Man City 2-1 Bayern

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

I am not Canadian. How do I know? Because I am not terrible. http://t.co/MLC6YoBd

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

a Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date #lemonlaw

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead. true story. http://bit.ly/fWVBI6

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

#prestripclubchecklist read in-depth synopsis of movie girlfriend thinks you’re going to see

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

#prestripclubchecklist don’t wear jeans

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

#prestripclubchecklist turn off heat/AC in apartment, saving both utility costs and the environment

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

#prestripclubchecklist pledge to avoid dancers with names like Smokey, Hepatitia, and Thunder

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

#prestripclubchecklist plant fake “movie producer” business cards on self where they might “accidentally” fall out in2 cleavage of dancer(s)

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

#prestripclubchecklist get drunk

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

#prestripclubchecklist Hide ATM and credit cards deep in wallet yet still accessible in case of rare “twins” scenario

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

#prestripclubchecklist convert sufficient funds to singles in the local currency

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

How a groom sends his Bros out with a bang…bridemaids. Squeezed into ugly identical dresses, bridemaids have one goal…to get out of them.

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

check out some of my notes from Robin 101: http://is.gd/418bP

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

why girls must wear jeans to a strip club http://is.gd/3NbpO

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

Hai-five-ku: one two three four five, raise each one high in the air, smack and release…Bro #broetrycorner

[Barney Stinson @brocode]

wingwoman - a female wingman who is also a chick. #broglossary