Brian Masterson

I was born and am now living.

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@KevinGPrice #straightfire

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@mpd1984 The Braves still suck. #hottake

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

Twitter still sucks. #whatamithinking #bumstatus

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@mpd1984 you gay for watching

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@mpd1984 why?

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@mpd1984 cerveza

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@mpd1984 I got pictures of beer.

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@mpd1984 you got nothing better to do than attack my girlfriend's occupational status? #wow #youaremad #imnot #boy

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@mpd1984 what are you saying?

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@mpd1984 perhaps you need a hobby besides harassing your coworkers? #pitiful #sad

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@mpd1984 my girl takes me home every night.

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@mpd1984 you like the #stasi dude. So much manipulation #smh

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

@mpd1984 why am I scary? I'm scared you want to look into my personal life like you the KGB. #communism #OKCatGSW

[Joyce Koh @JoyceKohTV]

For public safety, she's asking for $13M for corrections. ($2.7M for mental health, $8M pay increase corrections officers, $700k med staff)

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

Coors and Cheez-Its are like a siren song to weary travelers anywhere east of the Rockies. #coors

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

We need more fireside chats by a jukebox full of Waylon Jennings and Fats Domino.

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

"Last night we watched a documentary on squirrels. It was great. Tonight we have monkeys." - Mom. #wild

[Brian Masterson @brohanmasterson]

I don't know how to charge my phone because my missus gets priority. My shit is dying. #solutions

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

It's the weekend! Know what that means? That's right! You're closer to death than you've ever been before. Arbys: serving food

[Robert Griffin III @RGIII]

Showing love and support to the Home Team! Let's Go! #USWNT #OneNationOneTeam #WWC #1N1T