Brooklyn

my tweets are average at best and so am i

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

Me: honestly it’s Monday I’m gonna treat myself.

Me: honestly it’s so nice and sunny out I’m gonna treat myself.

Me: honestly I did sweet fucking nothing today, I deserve a treat.

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

how did Taylor swift just know that as a nation we needed that? im emotional.

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

@logantintin Nah man we drove the 15 hours

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

They’re focused on that he’s an idiot

[Shannie Miracle @shanniemiracle]

Can we all get the fuck over that our PM said ‘moistly’. He literally speaks to us EVERY MORNING trying to bring us better news and leadership and this is what we are focused on??? 🙄🥴

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

Day 432 indoors: I can’t stop being sad

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

My boyfriend told me my eyebrows needed plucking while we’re in the middle of a global pandemic as if I CHOSE to have caveman eyebrows. Should I break up with him, be honest?

[Autozone Jones @robbywgucci]

Nobody wants to watch anybody doing push ups. This is insane. As a nation we need to come up with better content during these trying times.

[Dylan Wheeler @DylanWheeler_]

The perfect quarantine schedule,

4:00 - Wallow in self pity
4:30 - Stare into the abyss
5:00 - Solve world hunger (tell no one)
5:30 - Jazzercise
6:30 - Dinner with me (I cant cancel that again)
7:00 - Wrestle with my self loathing

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

@smerritt2 Report him to the authorities immediately

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

I miss shopping when my mom would pay

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

It’s euphoric watching a 12 year old whip out their fresh debit card and you can tell they feel ballin because they have that thing loaded with 200 dollars of Christmas money. Ugh glory days.

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

I boiled a bag of pasta expecting it to feed 12 people and surprisingly enough it only fed me

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

got pulled over in the middle of my Sunday scaries & couldnt stop crying when I got a ticket.The cop told me he couldn’t let me go until I stopped cryin so I told him I would just stay pulled over for a while & cry bc I didn’t know how to tell him that could take a while lolol

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

The best skincare I’ve got is the sun on my face so every time my skin breaks out that’s it I’m booking a trip to Mexico. I have too.

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

Today this lady’s BMW licence plate read “fitnfab” imagine the confidence you’d have to have to get that customized on your plate. Absolute power move.

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

It’s been Halloween for like three fucking months

[Brady @pebbut]

me going back for a second bowl of some exquisite Cinnamon Toast Crunch at midnight

[Brooklyn @brooklynf_7]

My vehicle sounds unwell but lucky for me I have a good radio and I can make that sound go away

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Poppy. She lost her first tooth today. Heard if she puts it under her pillow it’ll be replaced with snacks. 14/10 hopes you’re proud