Threat level midnight

There is no other side. This is it

[machine yearning engineer @confusionm8trix]

way to fucking much is happing me right now

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

how many americans does it take to pronounce my name correctly

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

i expected residency to he hard i just didn’t expect it to strain every rship in my life and make me so indifferent to it all

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

funniest damn thing i’ve seen in my life

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

things you see on texan roads is not for the weak cos wdym there’s a 70 yo man on a motorised wheelchair racing into the sunset 😭😭😭

[dragon harpoon🕺 @pissedpant]

Imagine you go to the hospital with explosive diarrhea from eating contaminated lettuce and you’re severely dehydrated then they hook you up to the fiberglass IV

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

which one of u is bringing foot fetish twtr to my tl

[Fitnu @fitnuu]

Feet fetish is a very aristocratic fetish actually. No peasant woman toiling in the fields all day tending to cattle would have goon worthy feet, only the noblest ladies pampered since birth hidden away in the silk and satin would have such feets. Genetic memory of high birth!

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

@docpertinax sooo real, all of my “drowsy” patients are wide awake when the attending walks in and remember all of their home meds all of a sudden

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

getting lunch with ur skinny coworkers makes u feel like a fat fuck wdym u just got a salad while im adding carbs as a side to my carbs

[miya @miyarah_]

“perdón, me olvidé contestar jajaja”

el estado en el que me encuentro:

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

Me when my 80 yo patient’s wife calls him daddy on morning rounds every day

[kat @katsphantasma]

i JUST opened instagram???? give me a break man

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

How much grace is too much grace

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

my culture is not ur costume

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

@DrWalnuts11 I was JUST going to qt this lmao this is psychosis

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

my uber driver keeps shaking his head in disapproval every few minutes at all the drivers, funniest form of road rage i’ve seen

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

i need fun people to hang out with here the ones i have here are killing me

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

in other news saw the most textbook presentation of west nile, lowkey regret skipping it in med school

[Threat level midnight @brownclown_]

when white ppl want u to know they’re chill they tell u they work in a multicultural diversity dept or sum shit

[hussain @hussainbourdain]

Thinking of when mustafa babar posted on insta saying "kya hum azaad hain" and someone in the replies said aapko midsummer chaos banane dediya is se zyada kya azadi chahiye hai

[wingardium sgarbossa @docpertinax]

all my creative writing is now just finding ways to rephrase ‘patient reports’