Bruces Dad

forever changing the history of the world as we know it. oh im a genius!

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

Just doing a bit of "training" with mo farah. #OffOurTits

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

@SupremeRuIer me too! Wanna come to laser quest with me, kanye and bear grylls? U got owt on today like blowing stuff up or killing spies?

[BBC Sport @BBCSport]

Barcelona are facing a fraud inquiry over the transfer of Neymar http://t.co/KE8RJBobGF

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

Bought a swimming pool. Renamed it the jimmy saville leisure pool. Kids go free #gonnamakemillions

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

Been invited to bransons island for the weekend. Told him id rather goto Robin hoods bay #virginbeardman

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

Cant get my head around the bbc! He couldnt get a club so why have you made Ched Evans the new topgear presenter? #ConfusedAsFuck

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

Just knocked these up 100 quid dm me #SpentBrucesCashOnBeerAndBirds

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

Proper bored tonight might text jet from gladiators see if she fancies a 3 some with me and linda lusardi. Lindas game #Glaaadiaatoooors

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

had dynamo on the fone bitching about paul daniels again! Pauls done this.pauls said that.pauls punched me in the nob and said "thats magic"

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

Barrymores a nobhead. Me and fash have been trying to explain its not who IS the biggest dick! #fashthebash

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

What a fuckin day. Been the middle man in an ongoing argument between barrymore and fash about whos got the biggest dick!....

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

Some real pricks about today just seen a man in cut down suit trousers, dockers and a vest. #fashionpolice #prick

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

@Full_KitWanker inter shirt bayern bottoms! Confused man in #sheffield

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

Inter shirt and bayern bottoms? Confused man! @FullKitWankers #sheffield

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

2 chocolate bars a day= less risk of stroke
No wonder im immortal. Call me CadburyMan #Cadbury #YouAndIAreGonnaLiveForever

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

@dragonjones dragons den idea! Ginger birds have invisible nipples! May I present....NIPSTICK! #genius #nipstick

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

And fucked off to wetherspoons. #topgearwankers

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

They turned up with lidl noodles not wagamamma then the stig got arsey about test driving the new hong kong gti rickshaw so I chinned him...

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

UPDATE IN MY @_BBCTopGear situation! Having accepted the post of presenter to replace @JeremyClarkson @jeremive been fired aftet 10 mins...

[Bruces Dad @bruces_dad]

Ps has anyone got a spare chip pan and block of lard? @jamieoliver #pukka