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Once had a fetish, fetish for some booty - Now I'm getting funky, and tweetin' is my duty

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@elonmusk at Twitter HQ tomorrow:

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It’s official: Brazilian wives remain undefeated. #NFL

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Passengers on plane:

Russell Wilson:

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Heard Russell Wilson got the zoomies en route to London.

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We have truly entered a new era of football, ladies and gentlemen. The transition from the butt-fumble too butt-punt has officially begun… Mark Sanchez is smiling in his booth somewhere #NFL

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Tony Ball-Hard with the go go gatchet stretch #Cowboys

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Boba Fett? More like Jar Jar Fett #TheBookOfBobaFett

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Making my annual Twitter cameo to announce at how disappointing #TheBookOfBobaFett has been.

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Nothing like drinking expensive Cuban rum in Rio de Janeiro feeling like a king from of the exchange rate until the rum takes effect and start thinking you can afford to buy call options before @tesla’s Q3 report. To the moon! @elonmusk

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First observation in Brazil: there are not as many obese pedestrians.

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Where the actual fack does one store a 2 dollar bill?

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Does anyone remember when Texas was relevant?

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And totally irrelevant to my last tweet, yesterday I saw Steven Tyler in white Jeep turning right on Lipoa St with a Cockatoo on his lap. I can’t make this up folks. #Maui

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Bullish on Snoop Stock commenting on NBA. Long term, hold for growth. #SnoopDawg

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Not. Much. Happening. #2020

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There’s a special place in hell for those that purposefully select “cash tip” on delivery apps with no intention of leaving any gratuity whatsoever. #PandemicJob

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Does anyone else’s brain subconsciously glitch out when the actors in a movie aren’t wearing masks inside a building? Asking for a friend.

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Hey 2020, it’s a lil late for an April Fool‘a joke. #PfizerVaccine

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2020, you had me going there for a second! #Pfizervaccine

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Football is the best medicine this country has received since the pandemic began. #NFL