Bryce Heggen

My parent's hottest son

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

*Lil Wayne rapping his heart out for 3 minutes straight*

Cory Gunz: I’m out of my lima bean 😎

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

They never should have let a white boy like me have a pocket full of sunshine.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m going to kill myself.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

Mountains grow to be that big because they have very few natural predators.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

White girls embrace their natural hair texture and then start listening to Sza.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

Ok but if I were to receive 1,000 hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs I would be receiving 10,000,000 hugs and I could honestly really use that right now.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

Changing my name to Pepsi so someone will ask if I’m ok.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

Cologne but the C is silent.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

@kelly_winter3 Have you ever heard of Good Luck Chuck? Well, you're the Bad Jelly Kelly.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

Turning the corner at the same time as someone is so confusing. Like, are we about to kiss right now or what?

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

You could make up any number of knots that a boat is moving and I would just believe you.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

All I’m saying is the secret service isn’t very secret if everyone knows about them.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

Washing your fruit is unnecessary. I promise you choose to put far worse things in your body.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

If y’all don’t come to my funeral I’m not coming to yours. It’s that simple.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

@Tommy__Valdez It don’t matter where you’re at, that man worldwide.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

@grantwithplants You should have invited Joe over.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

@emilyv77 Uhh, as a man I understand

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

@grantwithplants You can order the combo for only $6.50 more.

[Bryce Heggen @bryce_heggen]

@emilyv77 If your foot is blossoming after stepping on a rusty nail I recommend seeing a doctor.