B.R.Eddings

Recklessly pessimistic
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Inspired by true events

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

Wait, does the rule of three apply to Star Trek? Watch your ass, Jonathan Frakes! (George Takei is going to live forever!)

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

I voted on Saturday. I followed Trump's instructions to pretend he was on the ballot. The poll workers weren't thrilled about cleaning my spit off the screen.

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

@McDonalds Does any of this look appetizing to you? I ordered a double 1/4 pounder and this is what I was served. Ever-forgiving, I tried a bite of McDonald's store number 189713's sandwich. I threw the rest out. Inedible.

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

I'm kind of irritated that Tom Petty died.

I know it's been a while.

This is just of one of those things that I'm grumpy about.

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

Why do I let my sense of self-worth get bullied by baristas who refuse to make eye contact?

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

Peanuts or wasabi peas?

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

Bangs or side part?

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

@kenanthompson
Please redo Sump'n Claus as Santos Claus!
Where'd his campaign get all that cash?
We don't need to talk about that!

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

Of the two dogs I know neither are remotely interested in my sharing my wasabi peas. #rejection

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

Now is the winter

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

I dreamed that I was going to have curry for lunch with @StephenFry. We couldn't agree on the restaurant so we didn't.

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

@StephenKing Squishing old bars of soap to new bars of soap is proof of reincarnation.

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

Kurt Vonnegut said,"I learned to write journalistic style, which is to be clear and don’t bluff and also to say as much as possible as quickly as possible and my books are essentially that way. I give away the big secrets in the first page and tell people what’s going to happen."

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

It's not likely, but if I ever get the chance I'd love to Keb' Mo' @kebmomusic a big hug.

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

Do you ever think to yourself, "It's almost noon thirty" then think to yourself, "What is my life?" I just did.

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

Just spitballing here, but could we scoop up the assholes buying stupid guns, convince them that Russians are school children, and drop them in eastern Ukraine? #winwin?

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

I forgot to tag @NRA. Children's blood are on your hands

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

NRA supporters, please unfollow me. There is no reasonable conversation to be had. NRA is pro-murder. The rest of us are in favor of life.

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

"Wind breaker" seems like an overly ambitious appellation for that flappy apparel.

[B.R.Eddings @bryceeddings]

Where can I get the soundtrack to Comedians In Cars? It's like Peanuts Christmas with more stuff and I could listen to it all day.