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[Post Malone @PostMalone]

nailed it @budlight

[Blake Henderson @hotTY_aLERt25]

Wish I could go back and redo some things

[jen merritt!!! @jennifermerr]

kid: trick or treat!

me: here ya go

kid: is this an everything bagel?

me: you’ll understand when you’re older

[chu @chuuzus]

“please don’t stop the music” but she ended up stopping the music.

[josh! @queersocialism]

wish i lacked critical thinking skills y’all seem so happy

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

Chili's is the new golf course.

[Tyler Cameron @TylerJCameron3]

How do I save this tweet forever

[+229 🥷🏾 @brian_ah87]

Me trying to identify whos coming up the stairs just by their footsteps

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

That's vodka. And I mixed it with orange juice. I call it an orange-vod-juice-ka.