Benjamin Salmonsen

husband. cat dad. real estate expert.

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

#NewProfilePic

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

@AsaHutchinson We don’t want you to do it for political points, we want you to do it because it what we want you to do. Period.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Very important to fix your Twitter feed:

1. Tap home button.
2. Tap stars on upper right of screen.
3. Select “Latest tweets”.

You are being manipulated by the algorithm in ways you don’t realize.

Easy to switch back & forth to see the difference.

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

Lemme put you on to big booty mix if you ain’t already. Volume 19 is slappin

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

@TylersMind Chick-fil-a is open on Friday, so.... i agree

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

Phone, wallet, keys. Phone, wallet, keys. Phone, wallet, Keys, MASK!!!!! Shit, need my mask!!!!

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

@TylersMind Hey!! You don’t say that!!!

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

Fuck a preheat

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

Just took a shower, couldn’t find any clean towels... dried off with a roll of toilet paper. A dime a dozen

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

@jtall54 When in the hell did you become an Economist??

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

I don’t know who needs to hear this (Aunt Susan), but i would trade this $100 Applebee’s gift card for a $5 @ChickfilA gift card....

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

Pro $$ tip... buying tickets to something for someone is like two gifts in one. A gift when you give the tickets and a gift when they get to go to said something. For example: give her tickets on her birthday for a concert that’s a day after Christmas. You’re welcome people

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

@nickjgranberry @HunterYurachek Bring back Petrino!! And tell him he can have as many girlfriends as he wants!!

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

What if you could invest in music artists like stocks? Like if you find a low-key, underground band that you know is going to blow up just throw down like $1,000 and pull an Amazon when they blow up... 🤔🤔

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

Spicy chick-fil-a sandwich. Remove pickles. Add cheese, add bacon. Go to Heaven.
#yourewelcome

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

@SamanthaBaylee Wait who are you again?

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

@SamanthaBaylee That’s like saying a quick, painless death. Still death tho

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

@SamanthaBaylee Does this mean it is great or not great? Because if I was face to face with a Jaguar I would not feel great

[Benjamin Salmonsen @bsalms15]

Confession: i let the dogs out