Megan Thee Allison

(she/they) ✨banned from Tinder✨

stand up comedian, actor, writer, bratz doll,

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

okkkkk unfollowing. I was a big fan of his wine and crackers. I had no idea that was his blood and body.

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

At the End of the World, I Will Be Drawing Blood https://t.co/rR4MARZtZs

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

@mscarpati1 @demi_burnett Literally Melissa where do you work & what the fuck are you talking about

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

Something about Travis Kelce & Taylor Swift makes me feel so American

[Astro Poets @poetastrologers]

Who cares just keep going

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

How To Do Winged Eye Liner with My Eyes Specifically

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

“Best players” this, “cutest players” that

Which team has the hottest fans?? That’s who I’m rooting for

#footballsunday

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

The girl version of the Roman Empire is us thinking about our bodies

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

Swiping right on someone you know on a dating app doesn’t mean you’re interested. It’s like waving at a passing ship when you’re out at sea.

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

No stop that’s my emotional support romantic hyper-fixation you can’t have that

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

Swiping right on someone you know on a dating app doesn’t mean you’re interested. It’s like waving at a passing ship when you’re out at sea.

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

special skills include crying in penn station

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

Respectfully what is going on with chips these days

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

I’m not meant to work
I’m supposed be topless in the kitchen making cookies

[audrey @saint_audrey]

I love when a girl posts a selfie and you can just tell it’s because she’s mad at someone

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

He’s so hot I want to buy his groceries

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

I know this is decidedly not the point of the show but ted lasso ending makes me wanna kms

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

Imagine dying and having to stand in front of god or whomever and having to explain why you were a parking enforcement officer

[sarah jae @sarahjaeleiber]

i personally wanna see bad theatre like your friend’s partner’s weird downtown shit that doesn’t really work but was clearly put together by human hands who loved it, not bad theatre created by the evilest richest dude in the industry phoning it in 40 years past his prime

[Megan Thee Allison @btwimaleo]

*sends video of me sucking on my fingers*

“oops sorry wrong person!!”