Chad Borowitz

I can be a real chowderhead sometimes

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

Damn girl, that ass so unreal it makes Sasquatch look like a fact!

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

Damn girl, that ass bounce like a bad check!

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

Girls- "I love going on adventures" (*walks on a paved path through a park)

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

Adrian Peterson might as well take it all the way and eat gluten free

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

Denim so thick I can't even feel yo girl

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

It is literally my job to suck down Dr. Peppers as fast as possible

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

@MACtion95 no

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

Eat a pancake off her butt, call that a flapjack

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

Asked for a medium coffee and the girl gave me a large... my pheromones must be extra strong today

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

If I have time to small talk with you then I also have time to take a shit and read national geographic, which is probably what I'll do.

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

I believe that everyone; no matter their country, skin color, or income, should have access to clean safe lavender lotion!

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

Man, I can only imagine the look on the McDonald's employees faces if they knew what I was using their water cups for!

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

Laid on my back in the shower and peed, didn't even care where it went, I just fucking peed.

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

I like boys that play the sports.

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

Jacking off while driving is one of the most rewarding things.

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

I finally installed a urinal in my bachelor pad!! (an empty 2 liter of Sierra Mist next to my bed)

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

"Touched By An Angle" the structural engineering version of "Touched By An Angel".

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

So is it a big deal if I poop in the dark?

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

I'm going to be making banana if anyone wants to come over and have a banana.

[Chad Borowitz @bufellows]

Rapist are my anti-drug