just a turtle

went to law school to be the funniest one

[just a turtle @bug_muncher]

lana del rey stans can't stand up for her bc they are all incredibly iron deficient

[just a turtle @bug_muncher]

@roast__beefus why does this feel like a subtweet

[just a turtle @bug_muncher]

is the sound of a bowl being put into the microwave.. universal? is this what we can all agree on?

[just a turtle @bug_muncher]

@eggzontoastz absolutely no offence but im more than offended you havent followed me back. UNFOLLOWing immediately

[just a turtle @bug_muncher]

@eggzontoastz ah yes , the two genders

[just a turtle @bug_muncher]

who else misses worrying about the lead in the pipes

[just a turtle @bug_muncher]

im back and all i have to say is : how does the cowboy emoji = 2 characters of precious tweet real estate when i use, on average, about 6 to express myself (on a good day) ?