Treasonous Abadi

Life is Biology | Biology is really Chemistry | Chemistry is really Physics | Physics is really Math | Math is really hard..|

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

I'm finding it exceedingly difficult to support a government and a family on a single salary..

[CPA Wachira Joseph @WashiraX]

KRA wants a share of dowry money.

There is a guy called Kamau.

When it was time to buy his wife, he mobilized his most monied buddies.

He put them in a WhatsApp group. The fundraising began.

Those boys were loaded. They were only 35.
By by the time they were done, they had contributed 4.5 million shillings.

Others who were not in the group wired money directly to Kamau's bank account.

The ruracio D-Day arrived.

And as always, the one and only Kikuyu ruracio anthem was tuned.

🎶 Wero... Werokamu guku kwa wa Kanini... Werokamu... 🎶

Before they could finish the song, more than 2,000 people had pulled up.

Wakaanza kutoa funjo. Then one man stood on a stool and announced they could not sit until they had given Kamau top up money to add to the dowry.

The donation book was hurriedly brought. People lined up. Cash started flowing.

By the end of the day, another 2.8 million shillings had been raised.

Kamau took the money and banked it.

Total dowry contribution sitting at his bank account: 8m shillings.

The ceremony became the talk of Gatundu South.

Kamau paid his dowry. Collected his wife. And went home peacefully.

• Lesson 1. Monied friends are good for paying dowry.

I have no clue how. But sometime later, Kamau was marked for a KRA tax audit.

KRA went straight for his bank statements. They found deposits of 8 million shillings.

Immediately, they baptized the entire amount as undeclared taxable income.

Then demanded: 30% income tax. Penalties plus interest.

Total bill: 2.5 million shillings plus.

When Kamau saw the tax bill, he went mad.
He could try to talk but words would not come out. He nearly swallowed his tongue.

When he came back to real life. He shipped a protest letter to KRA.

He explained the money was dowry contribution from his family, friends and well wishers.

- He produced WhatsApp group fundraising screenshots.
- He produced RTGS confirmations.
- He produced the donation book.
- He even produced videos of the ceremony.

Including footage of the Werokamu song.

KRA could not hear any of it. They only wanted 2.5 million.

When Kamau realized KRA was not playing, he ran to court.

He told the Tribunal:

- My lord, look. I have shown KRA where the money came from.
- I have shown KRA who contributed it.
- I have shown KRA the ceremony.
- What more do they want from me?

KRA responded.
And what they said nearly made the judges fall off their chairs.

They argued the evidence was not convincing.

Why?

• Because the 2,000 plus donors had not sworn affidavits confirming that the money they gave was a donation and not payment for goods or services.

The Tribunal looked at the matter in amusement.

Then ruled.

- Kamau had discharged his burden of proof in full.
- KRA had acted unreasonably by ignoring and disregarding the substantial evidence he provided.
- And most importantly: Income tax is a tax on income. It is not a tax on every deposit appearing in a bank account.

The Tribunal found that KRA was wrong to treat all bank deposits as taxable income without first removing proven non income items such as dowry contributions.

The tax demand was killed.

Kamau won.

KRA retreated to Times Tower. And rested.

Case closed.

• Lesson 2.

- Document everything.

- KRA will push. Push hard.

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

There has been an upsurge of such glutes sighted across streets worldwide after that UCL final this past weekend.

[Kaynak Haber @KaynakNews]

Yoğun antrenmanlarla dikkat çeken kadın, gluteus kasındaki gelişimi kameraya böyle gösterdi.

[Kip Mimi @Kvaati]

Ndio Hio. He went looking for the pandemic himself for $1.7Billion .

The US did not approach Kenya.
Your President approached US.

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

Kenya is finally being run like a business: a business acquired by private equity that's being stripped for parts before being liquidated.

[Nicole Ahwori @nicolahs_art]

The embassy of Iran spoke before the president.

[Aleckie Ronald @SirAlexas]

America's errand boy

Tuma police Haiti...yes sir
Chukua watu wa Ebola..yes sir
President wa kutumwa Jacket kwa gari

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

Why? Is he banning g WhatsApp next?

[Kenyans.co.ke @Kenyans]

Today, the WhatsApp groups for raising harambees for hospital bills have gone down - Ruto

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

@Nduta__ Merry birthday Nduta!

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

Why is Windows 11 so shite?!!

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

My cooking should qualify for carbon credits. Biochar? You mean breakfast?

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

I bet his teachers told him he'll go far in life...

[Summertime Thaum @ThaumPenguin]

News out of Norway: a 14-year-old boy has been caught driving a stolen bus for the third time. This time he made it over 300 kilometers, from Oslo to Kristiansand!

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

@Nyokaffiii I think thry call that exposure therapy

[Nduko™ @nduko__]

"Aliskia wezi huchomwa na mafuta akapandisha bei"

[Jemedari @MrJemedari]

Now show us the schools!!

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

What is the collective name for those mchele girlies?
Basmati Babes?
Pishori Playas?
Pilau Purveyors?
Jollof Jezebels?
Mwea Marauders?

Gani?

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

Exchooose! That hyena is spotted every single day.
It's a Spotted Hyena.

[Ⓝⓖ'ⓞⓡⓞⓡⓘⓔⓣ🐐🇰🇪 @baroswahjr]

Huko Syokimau mambo ni live

This hyena was spotted this morning

[Wolf Totem 🐺 @CanisLupus003]

This takes a lot of...guts

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

This is the Master Splinter backstory we have been waiting for. Just waiting the sighting of a rat with young turtles in tow.

[Interesting Sciences @amazing13_13]

My friend has a cat that caught 27 mice in one night, then arranged them like this all by himself, as if to show off his achievement.

[Treasonous Abadi @Buggz79]

Nothing to see here. Just a fire truck going to the fire station to offload some fire.

[Mario Nawfal @MarioNawfal]

🇨🇳 His truck caught on fire, so he did the most logical thing: he drove to the fire station 😂