🌚🌝

In SPEN but the S is silent 😪

[BDO Série A @brasileiraoopre]

"Carlo Ancelotti, o senhor viu? O Endrick está no 37° andar daquele prédio"

Ancelotti imediatamente:

[lexi @elextra__]

went to dunkin and the drive thru person said “that’ll be 11 million dollars” and i said “oh no!” and she said “i’m just playin it’s $11.99” and man. she got my ass. what a great bit

[りり @lalenakittenns]

whatever happened to good morning

[charli¹ 🎱 @ln4rry]

oscar please you have so much left to live for 😢

[mariana Z @mariana057]

BREAKING NEWS:
Sting has been kidnapped.

The Police have no lead.

[Spoon 🥄 @___Spoon]

For a mushroom farm it sure doesn't have mush room

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Due to the high cost of energy, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Physician: Your body has ran out of magnesium.

Me: 0mg

[Si Woo Him @xxSIWOOHIMxx]

Wanted me to fold for her. #neverbackdown #dominant

[Martin VII @Nedao454]

"PSG win the CL"

Their dumbass fans that same night:

[𝒹𝓇𝒾𝓏𝓏𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓉 @drizzylitfw]

my cat has been ramming his head into my boobs a lot lately and i've read stories about how pets sometimes warn their owners of cancerous tumors using the same method so i went to the doctor and got checked and found out that my cat is just a pervert

[valentine @valawakened]

If you were a fish at an aquarium, I’d read your entire little information plaque and stand there way too long watching you swim around so you’d know you were my favorite.

[respari @0riy0n]

They said the heat is stroking people
Where 👀

[Boneduck @realBoneDuck]

better to ejaculate than ejacunever

[Bruno Fernandes @B_Fernandes8]

inspired by those who set the standard. ✨

[Ryn @LycanHeiress]

what was that lesbian anime with the guns and the shooting again? clitoris recoil or something

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

put yourself in my crocs your honor