Jordan Robinson

Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

Me: Okay, I'm done with my emo phase.
My Chemical Romance: September 23, 2016
Me:

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

Love when I just wanna go home at 11:30 at night and my horse decides to be a fucking lunatic, wipes out and plays Rollie pollie in the process and then runs around like a lunatic again for 15 minutes because he is embarrassed🙃 #MrKrabsIwannagotobed #dontgetahorse

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

Driving a Jeep be like:
-oh god what’s that burning smell
-oop we almost red lined her but that’s ok
-is that noise normal?
-welp the check engine light is on again
-not drunk officer, just windy out

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

I’m not sure if Pokémon or Animal Crossing have consumed more of my life. The stack of radiology textbooks on my dresser reminds me that my ass is still in school tho and I should probably just put the Switch away 🙃😭

[Jeffree Star @JeffreeStar]

I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! Much love

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

Let me tell ya, working a 40 hour week with the big sad fucking sucks lol

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

For the love of all things holy, if you can decorate your car with the antlers and reindeer nose, YOU CAN USE YOUR FUCKING BLINKER

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

Leave it to me to put an ass load amount of tickets in for a single butternut squash at a basket auction.

[Robin Fey 🌿 @feymilde]

many zoos are sanctuaries for rescued animals that can't be released back into the wild and protecting endangered species and NEED the revenue to be able to upkeep the care for the animals and pay workers. So instead of "fuck all zoos" maybe "research the zoos you want to visit"

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

Trying to drive down Military Rd, NF Blvd or the 190/290 should be a good enough reason for me to be able to drive a tank.

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

Stg, the most hostile animal on the planet is a fucking middle aged white woman when she’s told the store is out of stock of an item.

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

My favorite past-time lately has been ordering random shit off Wish only to be surprised a month later bc I forgot I bought the shit.

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

Ur lying if u don’t enjoy that nice whole body crack after you’ve laid down after a long day 😍😍

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

Everyone around me: I’m engaged!” “I’m pregnant” “I just bought my first home!”

Me: I can’t find my other sock.

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

Had a lady message me about photo I took so her sponsor could share them, then session booked for Friday afternoon, things are looking up for my little side business😇❤️ DM if you’re looking to have photos done 😁😁

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

Dogs that cuddle right up with you are the absolute best 💕💕

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

There’s no better feeling than finding that shirt or jacket you thought you lost months ago in a random ass place 😌😌

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

So does the feeling that everyone secretly hates you and doesn’t care about you ever go away or nah? Asking for a friend

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

A guy drove passed my house, in a 4 door Wrangler without his doors on, with a giant Rasta banana in his backseat, blasting music. Honestly, that’s all I want in life rn.

[Jordan Robinson @bumblescums]

It is what it is I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️🙁

[Fred MyLeg @foxygrandpa62]

is it time already to ruin Squid's day?! wait, Spongebob, DON'T START WITHOUT ME