I can’t do anything right I can’t even hurt myself or starve myself right I feel like all my complaints all my pain all my fears are for nothing because it’s not visible I can’t stand myself
I hate that I’m like this I hate that I have a list of diagnoses I hate that even when I’m trying my best nothing seems to get better. I hate that I cant function like a normal person I hate that im so useless and gross and miserable
All my trauma and past is just excused like it’s nothing like it’s some joke but I try to talk about it in a desperate attempt to feel like maybe my emotions are worth feeling but regardless of how hard I try it’s clearly not bad enough
I’m not dealing with that stuff anymore so why do I still hurt why does it still feel like I am. I remember everything so vividly but life is better now so I should just suck it up and move on
Nothing I feel matters nothing I deal with in my brain is bad enough for me to act the way I do. I’ve gone through so much shit that people just laugh at when I try to talk about it
I don’t know why I keep trying so hard. I don’t do shit for the world. All I do is whine and beg for attention and hope somebody who doesn’t exist will help me and tell/do things for me that would actually help but even I don’t know what would help
Am I selfish for wanting praise and care? Am I a shitty person for wanting to feel like what I try isn’t for nothing? I don’t blame the people around me for not making me feel that way because maybe I’m just doing too much when I try to make others feel good
None of my accomplishments mean shit nothing I try my best at means shit nothing I do even matters. I get such simple replies while I try my best to make sure everybody else feels as appreciated as possible
Nobody would actually miss me if I was gone. I know they claim they would and they pretend but nobody would ever actually miss me. They’d move on quick and realize how much of an annoyance I was quick