joe miranda

UP AND COMING CHEF TURNED COMEDIAN...LOOK OUT WORLD

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

@pretty_dem666 This is the stuff I've been waiting for!

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

I added a video to a @YouTube playlist https://t.co/xaTLqWztMf Vision - Will Smith Eric Thomas Sylvester Stallone Greg Plitt Lindsey

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

Check out this video and let me know if it's something you'd be interested in
https://t.co/VVyttsB0VM

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

Is this still a thing, or am I behind the times? ... again!!

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

Ladies, you thought out doing your best friends wedding was hard, now you have your gay friends wedding to contend with too...GOOD LUCK!

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

Do you know what would make jury duty more tolerable? Conjugal visits!!!!

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

I thought "Mom's Demand Action" was a dating website for single moms. Boy was I wrong!

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

I am done listening to classic rock radio stations, they never play anything new

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

99% of fast food workers are Hispanic, and none of them know how to roll a breakfast burrito. #dyingart

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

Gf went shopping, noticed "mini magnums" on the receipt. "you lying bitch I thought size don't matter" turns out it's an ice cream bar Oops

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

Chubby guys in V-neck shirts, you're the equivalent of a chubby chicks in low cut jeans.... Stop it!

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

@CHEF_BLAX112 true, but maybe then we would know EXACTLY what they want from us. "Well done cuddle with a side of butt rub on the fly"

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

Yup! Time to become a stripper.....

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

To stay fat or not to stay fat? That is the question......

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

@CHEF_BLAX112 if women made that sound before they started to talk we would listen more often.

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

I don't want Facebook messenger to take pics of me while I am pooping so I guess I should Tweet more often.

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

Hailey & Joey rocking out to "ballast": http://t.co/BH5HRLMEa1 via @YouTube

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

You can't act like a badass when your sitting bitch on the back of a Harley driven by another dude! #getyourballsoffhisback

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

If I got a 2.5 million dollar fine for every racist remark I've made, I would be right where I am now, broke as shit and still racist.

[joe miranda @burritocomedy]

Little known fact about me: I listen to Lindsey Stirlings music.......A LOT!!