Jax🦑

Twitter? I hardly know her

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

No way they’re putting a dude that sounds like he smoked every cigarette on earth in charge of health

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

Man back in the day I used to rock a red baseball cap I haven’t been able to wear one in eight years

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

Those election night babies are gonna be inbred as hell 😭

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

When the album is so good u gotta find a reason to get in the car

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

Hope I’m not too tired from improv practice to go to the sex party 😋

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

Imagine you have jury duty In 2043 and the lawyer says “your honor my client did not unal!ve the defendants family”

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

You can tell trump did a little improv in college. I can sense. It’s pretty obvious

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

First time at universal what the heck is “testicular me”

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

She’s texting some dude about souleater… guess I’m not the sole eater 😔

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

TONIGHT I’m gonna SHOW her my JIMMY til she FALLON it

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

Mcu fans when they get put on life support after a fatal accident but their nurse isn’t in comic accurate scrubs 😢

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

She’s yelling at me but I’m bumping that 8D audio barbershop experience in my AirPods

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

Personally I dont mind if Tim walz put tampons in boys bathrooms. The boys bathroom at my high school got soap privileges revoked because too many dudes were jacking it into the dispensers. So clearly there are more pressing issues at hand

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

Trying to recreate dance moms is like trying to do the Stanford prison experiment again

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

@JoeyMannarinoUS Damn… got us there

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

Just went to an Alamo drafthouse for the first time and I have to say it’s what I imagine it would be like if 9/11 changed the way we go to theaters instead of the way we go to airports

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

@WaitingForPerot @MyLordBebo What kind of partying r u talking about bro

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

@RecMastermind @MyLordBebo U think this woman is going to stand in line and vote

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

That grandpa from Up made his old ass wife climb up a hill no wonder she died. Probably no insulation in that house either it’s literally filled with balloons

[Jax🦑 @busaccidentjax]

So now they’re saying having high testosterone makes you a man… but what about if you ARE a man and your doctor says your testosterone is disturbingly low and that you still have the build of a 12 year old. Then what?? Asking for a friend