Rich

I don't want any plastics and I don't want any ground floors!

(Views expressed belong to literally no one.)

[Rich @busterkeaton]

We need to be asking the hard questions no one wants to answer like when will the salt and vinegar mines be depleted?

[Rich @busterkeaton]

@phl17 My parents have Comcast in South Jersey (channel 7) and can never hear audio for the 10:00 news. Only that program. Any idea what's going on?

[Rich @busterkeaton]

Apparently both of the preschools I attended are defunct.
I hate to think I'm the common denominator.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

A most persistent delusion of parenthood is convincing yourself how much sleep you will get that night based on when your alarm clock is set for.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

On a more serious note:
The silver lining to sleep deprivation.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

My journey into adulthood was completed when I gave my wife my old Super Nintendo plug to charge her breast pump.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

@apelad She's scary.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

@Kernsti You're probably right. I stand (still) disgusted.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

I didn't know "back scrap" was a kind of meat but please never speak of it again.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

I'd love it if instagram didn't keep suggesting friends from the Facebook account I deactivated four years ago.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

Based on my South Jersey accent I'm not sure I'm the most qualified person to be teaching my children the word "button".

"BUH. IN. Buh-in!"

[Classic Movie Hub @ClassicMovieHub]

Charlie Chaplin playing violin for Jackie Coogan on the set of The Kid, 1921...

[Rich @busterkeaton]

@Kernsti I wasn't sure. I guess it's always on my mind.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

Just once I'd like someone to remark that I have the feet of a much younger man.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

@VH Delightful. Although Van Tech One is conspicuously absent! Clearly an accidental omission.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

RIP AIM.

You're a big reason my sister and I are much better typists than the younger digital natives.

We will always be grateful.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

No I don't ever want Sticky Keys enabled.
Like most people, hitting the Shift Key over and over helps me think.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

Wife: "Worst candies ever."

[Rich @busterkeaton]

@ARStager I finally determined this rule is made for breaking. But only because this faux pas can make my weird proportions less offensive.

[Rich @busterkeaton]

Apple is falsely calling something which is one color by another color's name.

FAKE HUES!