cat eggs

butt eggs

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

If anyone knows how to cure horrible genetic mutations, I'm all ears

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

I'm on the "Seabiscuit" diet. I eat horse meat

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

#SoISaidToTheCop I'm double jointed

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

Help, I got my son vaccinated and now all he does is play Minecraft

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

It's also a good idea to check yo self after you wreck yo self

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

Ben Carson became a great brain surgeon by practicing on himself

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

I bet blind people love watching that Daredevil show about the blind superhero

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

what the fuck is The Moon

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

#MasculinitySoFragile

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

Marquis Mark and the funky bunch

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

"I came as soon as I could" -a premature ejaculator

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

Who's the idiot that called it a soft boiled egg instead of a hardly boiled egg

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

Did you know you can get the internet Online now?

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

Welcome to the Natural History Museum, or as I like to call it, The Bone Zone

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

My dog can't dance because he has 2 left feet

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

#signsthatyouaredumb

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

By the time the show was over, the actors on Friends were all millionaires and could actually afford to live in that apartment

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

The only "sandwich" I care about is The Holy Bible

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

#ReplaceMovieLinesWithCoffee

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

Did you know what 90% of icebergs are under your wife while you're at work

[cat eggs @butt_eggs]

Sorry for putting your baby in the trash compactor. For some reason I thought that's where trash goes